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THE
LADONIANPARLIAMENT
IS FOUNDED, |
| STATE AFFAIRS | The Ladonian Parliament was inaugurated March 1 and is hereby presented. This parliament is a think-tank with an unlimited number of seats and openness as motto. |
| POLITICS & CABINET | Horatius resignation lively debated mostly by himself. New ministers presented. |
| NEWS & GOSSIP | Ladonian businesslife rapidly expanding, Minister of Brain wins the Vasa Race, the Enchanting Miss Ladonia, the Zaphigomfic, a new city and much more... Ladonia certainly is a happening place! |
| LITERATURE | A remarkable and very eonatic book written by Geir Stene and published here. |
| AT THE END OF THE DAY | We are exceedingly sorry to say that there is no At the End of the Day in this issue of the Herald. The Minister of Health will return in the next issue. |
| Managing Editor: Lars Vilks
Executive Editor: Vera Porad The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us. |
EDITORIAL Many interesting things happen in Ladonia (as always). Still growing rapidly we have more than 3.100 inhabitants. And we ask Ladonians to join the Parliament and become an MP. We need some foreceful politicians who can challenge the cabinet and the ministers. We hope for a power struggle between the cabinet and the parliament. We also recommend our citizens to join the crew onboard the Flying Embassy, thus travelling easy and cheap throughout the world. Right at the moment the Flying Embassy is visiting Hungary. Read the Herald! And why not make a contribution? Ladonia has a Parliament. Much of the creative work has been done by our excellent Nemo. The plan is to arrange two chambers but it is still open for incoming MP:s to announce their opinions. Ladonia thus asks for Members of Parliament to join. Just send an e-mail to Nemo: At the day of the opening of the Parliament, custodian Johan made this speech: "One year ago, on the 1st of March 1997, I and a friend visited Ladonia. We called it a Field Research and it was my first big mission as a Custodian. At that time the hillsides of Ladonia was partly covered with the ashes and remnants of Nimis' towers, which had been put on fire a month earlier by some lunatics. I wondered what may trigger such hatred against a silent, magnificent and soothing piece of artwork. It had to do with Human Culture I believed, groups of people and societies mutedly agreeing upon the right order of things. Nimis didn't and doesn't fit into this "right order". Rather it may to some symbolize craziness or whatever, so they did their dirty deed. But fortunatedly the sea-shore soon was filled with new drift-wood travellers and Lars began rebuilding the lost parts. The Field Research was succesful, not the least because of the recovering of the lost Hippopotamus. The petrified Hippo is still laying on its side with the big round nose pointing towards north-east, smelling the sea winds and smiling a bit with closed eyes, as if it is dreaming about some pleasures. If you are planning a visit to our country I strongly recommend to take a glimpse at the Hippo, which is actually resting very close to the western border by Håle Stenar. A year exactly has now passed and today is the Day of the grand opening of the Ladonian Parliament. I have done some thinking on the connection between the Hippo and the Parliament. For me the Hippo could do well as a symbol of the Parliament. It may imply several things. First of all it is resting on an elevated plateau with a beautiful view of the artworks and the Ladonian seaside. It is smiling with closed eyes by the border, as if it hardly pays any attention to the task of guarding the border, but rather dreams its day away. The reading is open and their seems to be nothing to fear, maybe accept our own fears. So by leaving this image I hereby, on advice from Mr Nemo our Speaker, inaugarate the Parliament: OPEN UP!" And from Nemo we heard these words: "The idea of a Parliament is an old one, at least it goes through half of Ladonia's existence. Baron Johan, beginning his work on the Parliament saw it to become an institution, which primary four devices are: - Be active - Be open - Be tolerant - Be balanced These words also appealed to me, so I joined the work. The primary idea behind these devices is: the MPs should be active with proposing new ideas, discussing and criticising them. Yet a worthy discussion is impossible if everybody would sit on his rock and shut out other's ideas - thus openness. However being open is not enough. You can hear to other's ideas and still reject them as stupid, not worthy discussing. Here tolerance comes in. A balanced amount of the first three keywords should lead to a productive discussion. If all the four devices are present, the members of the various discussions would hopefully not feel hurt if their ideas will meet strong criticism. The outline of the Parliament and its functionality still remains to discuss and accept, although quite a lot of work has already been done (See Parliament Discussions). The current proposal is that the Parliament would consist of an unlimited number of chambers with 24 MPs in each chamber (18 commons + 6 nobles). Everybody is welcome to become an MP. So if you, oh honoured reader, want to become an MP, send me an e-mail. The agenda of the Parliament will be presented on a separate board. Every MP or citizen is free to propose ideas for the agenda. These ideas will then be discussed among MPs, and the results of their creative work will either be presented here on the Board or in The Herald. Finally I would like to say that Ladonia is a country with large potential resources. Although Horatius says that there is more talking than doing in Ladonia, what would happen to the country if the things were first done and then discussed. Ladonia is still young so it is not strange that talking dominates. Yet it is rather often more difficult to talk over a good idea, than to realise it into life. The Parliament will do the job of preparing the ideas to enter the reality (if the reality is ever to be found). A Speaker and your humble servant... Nemo." |
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A HISTORICAL COMMENT BY HORATIUS When leaving his position as a minister, Horatius wrote some reflections of Ladonia as he has experienced it: "Ladonians! As you might know if you've read the latest Herald, I have resigned as Minister of Sophistry, Court-Jester, Killjoy, Pain in the Ass, etc. When the Cabinet said yes to Franco Von Gelli as Minister of Philosophy -- a decision I must respect -- they thereby made my presence in Ladonia superfluous. (Apart from slightly hurting my feelings.) Hurt feelings is not enough reason to quit, I know. However, this, in combination with my discontent over the present direction of Ladonia, has made me decide to leave. Not to go into the Glacier -- I can't stand the cold -- but simply resign. Man ska sluta när det är som bäst, as the Swedish enemies are fond of saying. If that is true, I even waited too long. I joined Ladonia because I like serious games. (In my everyday work (lecturing, writing articles, etc.) there is not much room for games.) Lars Vilks struck a pantagruelistic/pataphysical chord in my heart with the creation of Ladonia, to which I responded readily. And when I was elected Court-Jester I felt like a fish in Vättern. Lars knows a thing or two about pataphysics. You know, Alfred Jarry, "King Ubu", and all that. PLEASE, don't EVER confuse Jarry with that synthesizer bungler Jean Michel Jarre, who, by the way, reminds me of an anecdote involving Anders Eljas, arranger and musical helper of Abba (very popular in the enemy country). Anders once taught me (a narrow-minded ten finger-player), in his own inimitable way, "how one plays the synthesizer". Ready? Put your left hand behind your back (you won't need it). Then isolate the little and ring fingers of your right hand with some strong tape (Gaffa). You now have the full equipment (3 fingers) neccessary to play something by Jean Michel Jarre. On your marks, ready, OXYGEN!! By the way, Alfred Jarry admired Rabelais and even wrote an opera called Pantagruel. Thus there really is a connection between pataphysics and pantagruelisms (Rabelaisian pranks), what I have described as two of Ladonias primary qualities or colors. Thanks to Lars Vilks, a practising pataphysician. There have been many rabelasian ideas in Ladonia. The Ladonia Water (or ROCK) Festival, the Ladonian hit song "Örtug, örtug, örtug", ladonian films like "Ladon, the barbarian" and "For a few örtugs more" (a western), the Miss Ladonia Contest (looking swell in evening-dress, bathing-suit, plus ability to talk Latin with pebbles in mouth), burning down the Swedish Skansen to avenge Nimis and Arx, etc., etc. These are only some of the ideas coming from yours truly, obviously many other ministers and commoners also have presented more or less brilliant ideas. Ladonia, in spite of its "wordly success", its quickly growing number of citizens (or perhaps because of them?) has problems. One of them is translating ideas and visions into some kind of reality. Ideas in Ladonia stay ideas. Not even a relatively easy thing as the Vadstena Summit materialized. Ministers hardly even answered the invitation. What we have now is talk, talk and no action. That is, beyond the action of writing e-mail, which, I think you allow, is not much of action. Of course Lars is active in many ways, working with his hands, building, reconstructing, etc. But that's *him*. I also think there's a "Swedefication" of Ladonia. Remember, those people are our enemies! Watch out, or this country will turn into LAGOMIA! Some of our more recent and vocal ministers are bureaucratical to a fault. The whole pataphysical spirit seems to be lost. (I suspect that many ministers even use deodorants!!) Then there's lot of New age sentiment (sentimentalism) here. When the "etheric" Ladonians speak about New Ladonia it sounds almost as New Jerusalem. We hear proclamations of how Ladonians can do EVERYTHING, about how FREE we are, unfettered, unrestrained, etc. It's almost like Ladonians didn't have to eat regular food (or shit) to survive! This also leads to contentement with WORDS, WORDS, WORDS. If you are already free and perfect (owing to your Ladonian passport), why lift a finger? The future of Ladonia is partly depending on who it attracts and who it repels/no longer attracts. This is important. While Lars still was the Boss he attracted through his ideas and personality. How many people would Fernando attract? (Rhetorical question.) So, Ladonians, this is my cue. Ta ta. But don't cry -- this ain't the end. I've started a political party! Join me in my new adventure and check out the evolution of BAKPARTIET. http://www.common.se/horatius/bak.htm Sweet pastry, bitter truths, backanaler, bakfylla, Burt Bacharach... YES, the page even has cookies!! Follow the example of Queen Yvonne and the Minister of Unschooling, already members of Bakpartiet. (They even sent a recipe for a cake, how nice.) I think Ladonians would well understand my mix of wisdom (sophistry) and folly." A COMMENT ON HORATIUS' RESIGNATION The Minister of Entertainment, Erik Tveteraas has made this statement, concerning the resignation of former Minister Horatius: Horatius resignation is to laugh at, a little competition between the individual ministries is a good thing, definitely not a "political crisis". It is located in almost every single government in the world, and it will add a certain tension and rivalry, encouraging us to work harder for our cause. If this had happened to me I would not just "surrender" immediatly, but take it as a challenge. And to Horatius: The incident you have experienced is something simply called "p.o.l.i.t.i.c.s." (You can quote me on that) sincerely Erik Tveteraas ------ Minister of Entertainment Erik Tveteraas has recently been appointed minister and he present himself in this way: "The Ministry of Entertainment is not just a political department, but for all you free Ladonian citizens pleasures. Our job is to add a cultural understanding by means of public performances such as theatre/opera-plays, the soon to be Ladonian soccer team playing, concerts etc............ Currently I am looking for people willing to join my ministry. The following positions are open: 1st secretary, Office counsellor, Liaison officer (taking care of the relationship with the other ministrys), and Press attaché. I live in Oslo. I am filmdirecting-student soon to join the London International Film School. My hobbies are film, football (soccer), and surfing the web." NEW MINISTERS Except Minister Erik Tveteraas, who already has been presented here we have three new ministers: Ludvig Claeson, Minister of Music and Sound Minister of Undercoveroperations in foreign Countries, Joacim Barkström: Short presentation of myself: Born and raised in the town of Gävle, north of Stockholm. At the age of 15 I moved to Gothenburg and situated myself as an normal kid in school, with mathematics as my major subject. Some interrest in computors arised during this period aswell. When the groundschool-period were over i took myself to higer ground and became a Chef-in-training and worked undercover on a multinational company called 'Organon'. Further more i did some spying in the army, this time in the Officers Fightingschool, located in Skövde. During this period of my life i learned much about swedens defence or lack of such. My latest jobb is as Networkadmin and Administrator of Computoreducation, as well as Webmaster... Best wishes <<<<<Webmaster DTC>>>>>> uvdkim@datortek.educ.goteborg.se Bo Hansson, Minister of County Councils |
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BUSINESS NEWS: FIRST COMPANY ESTABLISHED IN LADONIA We are proud to present the first company established in Ladonia. The company has its office in Mucsony, Hungary: Name of the firm: First Ladonian Hardware Software Development Inc. Founders: Kornel Kaulics (Ladonian) Lord Krisztian Kaulics (Ladonian) Main Manager: Lord Krisztian Kaulics To take: Engenning Computers, PLCs, Hardware Elements Programming in any case of problems, any platforms, and languages Hardware manager: Lord Krisztian Kaulics Software manager: Kornel Kaulics Working location: All over the world Main office: H3731 Mucsony, Szabadsag 61,Hungary Hotline: krisztian.kaulics@usa.net WEB office: www.angelfire/ca/Krisztian (Actually not awaiable) We
work in any location LADONIAN MINISTER WINS THE VASARACE The Minister of Brain Tiit Mathiesen defended the Ladonian honour in
the famous race for skis, the Vasarace. He made the distance of 90
km in a few hours defeating the best Swede with almost one week.
It is obvious that the Swedes have one big difficulty: to know
when to start. ZAFIGOMPHIC - AN IMPRESSIVE AND REMARKABLE PROJECT Trond Ivar Hansen at the state office of nomads has made an outstanding creation in making the Zafigomphic. One has to admitt that this precious thing is far beyond words. But it can be seen: http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/crescent/183/zaf.htm FOUNDING A NEW CITY IN LADONIA David Andersson has started an extensive project in founding a new city
in Ladonia. The city is called Urbs Murum and Mr Andersson will take the positin
as Lord Mayor of this place. It will rise its walls in the eastern part
of Ladonia, A CANDIDATE FOR A NEW ROYAL JESTER After Horatius leaving his positions we have had a gap concerning the jester
in Ladonia. Leif Karlsson, Lord of Minstrels, has offered his duties
to this position. He plays several string instruments and he is very
amusing. So now we just hope that he will be able to please our Queen and
thus be accepted at the royal court. A NOBLE VISIT Baron Svein of the Free Rocks and his sun Sigbjörn payed a visit to Ladonia in the end of February. The Baron lives in Norway and his pilgrimage to his home country is a paragon to all of us. Even for those Ladonians living far away it is almost necessary to pay the shores of Ladonia a visit once in a lifetime. Baron Svein was very satisfied with his expedition and made a careful examination of all the rocks to make sure they all were free enough. Since his presence the rocks seem to be enjoying themselves in a way never seen before. LADONIAN CHAMPIONSHIP IN CHESS: DRAMA The Ladonian championship in chess between our Minister of Chess Öyvind Grotmol and Custodian and Baron Johan Andersson took a sensational turn. After only 8 moves the Baron resigned. Grotmols tactics are known from the time before chessplayers had to deal with time and clocks. Grotmol played extremely slow and he really got away with it. It is a great psychological game though the moves are rather uninteresting. Anyway here it is: 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. d4 exd4 4. Bc4 White is using the scottish gambit 4. .. Bc5 5. c3 Qe7 This is hardly something to recommend. Best move is d4-d3. 6. 0-0 Nf6?? Loosing all his positions... 7. cxd4 Bb6 8. e5 Black Resign 1-0 Baron Johan has made this statement on his loss: Communique: "I can't recall the day when I made my sixth move, the fatal Nf6. It´s all a blur. I remember that mom called me the day before to tell me that she had knitted me a pair of socks. The day after the blur, I ran over to her and fetched them, because I got really cold feets when discovering the stupid move of the knight. Of course the pawn sacrifice has to be accepted, but then I never liked gambits, so." A desperat plee for re-play by the Baron has been accepted by the Harlequin and Mr Grotmol. The Match will be decided in best of three games. The winner could call himself Champion of Ladonia, at least until the national championships will be held. Game two Baron Johan - Grotmol This second game begins as Reti's opening: 1. Nf3 c5 2. g3 ? THE FLYING EMBASSY NOW IN HUNGARY Our Flying Embassy is continuing its world wide travels. This month the embassy is first visiting Györ and Szombathely in western Hungary near the river Rába, then going on to Kaposvar, Pecs, Szeged, Debrecen, Miskolc, Gyöngyös and ending in Székesféhérvár near Budapest which will not be visited at this occasion. It is not only to enjoy these beautiful and prospering cities but also to strengthen the bond of friendship between Ladonia and Hungary. Many of our citizens are living in Hungary. The number of these is growing so fast that we already now can say that Hungary is ladonianized. And we invite our hungarian friends to join the crew onboard the embassy. A HUNGARIAN LINK Our Minister of Entrepeneurs Sandor Posvari is offering a Ladonian webpage in hungarian. Just go to: www.euroastra.com/ladonia
WE HAVE A LADONIAN CIRCLE A standard circle has its limitations in being all to perfect. Perfection as an idealistic aim is of course not perfect enough in Ladonia. Thus we present the Ladonian circle with the addition of imperfectness. MISS LADONIA Since a couple of weeks we can proudly present the very beauty of Ladonia, Miss Grigoria Grigoria. Her breathtaking features is available at our home page. The elegant setup of the pictures is done by Hans Kjellman, a Lord of honour in Ladonia. He is also the man who has nailed 12 * nails into various parts of Nimis. BLOWING UP A GALAXY The state secreatry and the Minister of Health have brought forward the idea of a grand celebration in our long feast of Thuban. We intend to blow up a galaxy. Many problems need to be solved and we are not in the first place talking about technical details but rather moralistic decisions. The object M 81 in the Great Bear is to be found at a distance of about 7 million light years. We don't know wether there are living creatures somewhere in this galaxy but maybe it doesn't matter? How far will our responsibility reach into the universe? If we send up the explosives (advanced nuclearity) in the near future and if we will be able to send them by the speed of light we have to wait for about 14 million years to observe the explosion. So, the project is to a large extent a project on waiting. Our feast which are going on for more than 46.000 years is not enough to include this great happening but it is one of our aims to save something for generations to come. |
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THE BOOK BY GEIR STENE Geir Stene has on several occasions contributed to the developement of Ladonia. His latest project is nothing less than writing a book. It is a very special book as it can be published in the Herald. The book is left unfinished as it leaves its most important parts to the reader: Preface of the Book of Ladonia :
This book is one in a series of a lot of books. The Ladonians are the first one to have their people counted, their story told, their lives forever public announced. The fact that all this is represented in one, only one dot for a inhabitant makes this a very precise, minimalistic book. The dot, or as written in this book : "." contains the hole of the inhabitant's life up to this very time. And As you know, this time is seen from the reader, so it will at all times be up to date. The very fact of life, that new people will be born, witch should be assumed that new dots would be necessary to add, will not be a problem. The dot is not The inhabitant, it is not The human, it is a representation - a sign. Something that stands for something else. - So A dot can, and will be a representant for more than only one real person. In cyberspace this book will not be able to read for blind, without special equipment, but the paper print - the original is kept in the authors place. This Paper print, is typed on an old fashioned typewriter, so that also Blind people can read the content, by feeling the dots over the very surface of the paper. The book is divided in two chapters. In chapter one the half of the population is represented, with the half of the women's population, and the half of the male's population. In the second chapter the second part of the population is represented, with the half of the male's population, and the half of the women's population. This is done not to discriminate any parts of the population in any thinkable way. It is done by mere chance, and to avoid the idea of making the first chapter more important than the second - I have let be to name them by number. Anyone is free to read witch chapter they feel for first. The very reason for not having three chapter is to avoid the idea of an beginning, a middle and an end. In this book there is no such thing. Author Geir Stene
"The Census of Ladonia." Written by Geir Stene. Chapter .................................................................. ........ ................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ....................... ................................................................. ........................ ................................................................. ....................... .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ ................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ....................... .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ ................................................................. ........................
Chapter .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ .................................................................. ........................ |
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