10th issue, July 1997

In this issue the Herald will give some aspects of art with reference to the exhibition "Documenta X" in Kassel, Germany. Herald sent a team down there and had a good time with 2 500 other journalists at the press opening. But there will of course be much more in this issue: Minister Horatius has made new statements and comments, The Hillman Project Group is working hard, you will also read about paprika. Some shocking news also, as our state graphic and minister Vera Porad has tried roller blades with a stunning result. And latest news from the Ladonia earth together with writings from our readers. Fascinating knowledge about our minister of history, Count Torby, has been brought to life from old times. And a constructive quarrel on the constitution. And more: A second colony conquered in Norway, and Ladonian life on Mars! Ladonia has now almost 2 600 citizens and is steadily growing. We have expanded our domains with two new colonies in Norway and minister Horatius' bathtub.

Managing Editor: Lars Vilks Executive Editor: Vera Porad The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us.

WHAT IS LADONIA (AGAIN FOR THE 7TH TIME)? A final statement at last! Ladonia is an eonatic nation. It is NOT a micronation. We do have contacts with several micronations; they are all welcome to get in touch with us. Recently we got a letter from the Kingdom of Merovingia written by Gerhard, Count of Maerchenwald. Check them at: http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5205/index.html LADONIAN LANGUAGE The official language in Ladonia is phrased latin but we still hope for a revival of the original language. Our most dear president has, as you might have seen lately, in an inspired moment, found one word, "waaaal". That is the only known word in Ladonish and as we are not sure of its exact meaning we suppose it means everything but not at one time. Very convenient as for example the whole Herald can easily be translated to, yes, "waaaal". But there exists variations on the word, for example, we have a new outcry from the court, Count Kicki and Vera Porad, saying "waaaaaal". And the meaning is obviously somewhat different. I would propose that the second expression, the 6 A word, is more spiritual. A third version, which we call "Late gothic and perpendicular with flamboyant decorations" is "Waaaaaaaaaalll" where we observe 10 A and 3 L. It could mean "goes eonatic".

ART AND DOCUMENTA The biggest exhibition of contemporary art is Documenta in Kassel, Germany. The show is now going on and will contiue the whole summer until the 28th of September. Herald was there. Almost 200 artists from different countries participate in the show that was created by Catherine David from France. The concept was rather well known. The state of art has during the last decade changed from the idea of aesthetic expression towards research and comments on ideas. And this was underlined in the exhibition given the theme "Back to the Future". To get in touch with the exhibition itself you can go there on this adress: http://www.documenta.de You can also participate in particular art projects. The mostambitious is to be found on http://www.documenta.de/workspace At this adress different subjects are brought up continually; for instance between 8.7 and 17.7 the theme is "We want bandwidth", from 18.7 to 27.7 "Recycling the Future". The spanish artist Antoni Muntadas has a translation project to be found at: http://www.documenta.de/muntadas/index.html A lot of interesting artist are to be found there and the show is well worth to be seen. Some pigs are exhibited, a shop where you can byclothes, planted weeds, cooking, a film on skyjacking - with about 20 millions D-Mark you can't really fail. This Herald is making use of some material from Documenta in a way you might call "refreshing the rhetoric of art". WORLD CUP IN SOCCER As mentioned before the world cup in soccer is played during the coming month with Ladonia being the host of this event. The event is extremely cheap and important not only for sport lovers. While making no concessions to the commemorative trend, the last serious world cup of this century can hardly evade the task of elaborating a historical and critical gaze on its own history, on the recent past of the postwar period, and on everything from this now-vanished age that remains in frement within contemporary football and culture: memory, historical reflection, decolonization and what Wolf Lepenies calls the "de-Europeanization" of the world, but also the complex processes of postarchaic, post-traditional, postnational identification at work in the "fractal societies" (Serge Gruzinski) born from the collapse of communism and the brutal imposition of the laws of the market. The Ladonian football team is well prepared to deal with these issues, frankly using the eonatic way of playing and creating a colorful content. In the age of globalization and of the sometimes violent social, economic, and cultural transformation it entails, contemporary football practices, condemned for their supposed meaninglessness or "nullity" by the likes of Jean Baudrillard, are in fact a vital source of imaginary and symbolic representations whose diversity is irreducible to the (near) total economic domination of the real. The stakes in this world cup are no less political than aesthetic. Contemporary football is used for social regulation or indeed control, through the aesthication of information and forms of debate that paralyze any act of judgment in the immediacy of raw seduction or emotion (what might be called "the Benetton effect"). In short I think we are in for a good and important tournament, where interpretations and advanced disorder might be the key words. No doubt we have in front of us a new sort of football games where you shouldn't hesitate to observe a subversion of the traditional hierarchies and division of knowledge. The first match where Brazil beat Norway 500 - 3 can easily be understood as the emergence of "marginal" values or an extraordinarily playful dramtization of political and economic power or even a poetic transformation of dogmatic, reductive modernism. In the first round Ladonia will play against Sweden and this is really a waaaal match, Denmark against USA (spectacular representation), Spain against Zambia (anthropoligical foundation), France meeting Japan (new world disorder), Germany against Paraguay (upsurge of nationalism), Holland meeting Mexico (recent and instant ruins). Much to look forward to in the nearby future. It isn't a matter of "the best is to win" but rather the enchanting question of "who do we want to win?" Do we have enough arguments, will the teams be prepared enough to handle the complex of symbolic investment in this game that now take thestep into the fields of "swallowing the real in its spectacular representation" (Gruzinski).

DISCUSSIONS ON LADONIAN CONSTITUTION It works its way forward, the Ladonian constitution. The reader can follow its developement - and as well read a letter from our beloved president. The Court on the Constitution. "We feel it is time to once again ask our hearts: For what do we, Ladonians, a nomad people, need a constitution? What on earth or in heaven obliges us to copy in one way or another a system that all of us already live daily, from the minute we are born to the minute we die? Is the flexibility and unpredictableness of eonacy so scary to us that whenever we are confronted we turn to our known ways of thinking? To ready-made answers served on goldtrays? Is the question really how we shall apply an existing society system on Ladonia? Is it not how shall we apply Ladonia in an existing society system? The questions are many but the answers are infinitive. The truth is one yet it has many faces. Long Live the Eonatic Ladonia WAAAAAAL! Eon-in-Waiting Kicki Hankell Eon-in-Waiting Vera Porad" "Right on Kicki and Vera, Your wrath is heard through the thunder going on here! Charge! Jolt'em bad citizenry and corrupt ins-tit-tu-chuns and individuals that merely copy existing real life cons..tit..tu..chuns! We the eonatics, lunatics and other -atics want to see some of them good old values mirrored in a cons..tit..tu..chunn that reflects the unreal, weird, funny, outrageous, insane, sloppy, eccentric beer toasting friendly, easy-going, eonatic life-style that is uniquelyLadonian!!! Stand tall you free and proud Ladonian-- do less, sit down, recline, relax, disengage! But above all--don't know so much! Or as our fore-mothers said: Less was not so Bitter for us Dumwits. Ladonia City Pub "Chez le Screeming Bass" Lord Sigwhig" "Brasília, 2 July 1997 Dear countrymen and countrywomen, Itīs been a long time since Iīd received such a conforting and eonatic e-mail as the one sent by Eon-in-Waiting Kicki Hankell and Eon-in-Waiting Vera Porad. They are absolutly right: Ladonia does not need a conventional Constitution. We must find our own way. Thatīs our challenge. Thatīs what Ladonia is all about. Letīs put our minds to work on that eonatic proposal. Long live Ladonia!! And down with conventional ways of governing!! Waaaaaaaaaalll!!! Fernando Rodrigues President of Ladonia" " For what do we, Ladonians, a nomad people, need a constitution?" "Every country is represented by its national symbols. Such a symbol is the constitution. According to Preambles, this Chart is set down in recognition of the basic human rights which must apply every citizen. This may be referred as a guarantee for these rights. " what on earth or in heaven obligues us to copy in one way or another a system that all of us already live daily..." According to your words, we do not need the Queen, Ministers, not even the citizens, we do not need to eat, listen to music, etc., because they all exist in a system that we already live daily. Is that what you really want? I hope not! Moving back on your exact problem: generally speaking, no justified country can exist nowadays without a constitution. To all of you, Ladonians: have a nice summer! Take care: Count Andras" - Count Andras is stating a possible absolute consequence. If we don't need a constitution, do we need anything? Is eonacy running empty? And here a noteworthy comment from Count Torby: "Ave all! Now when I for four weeks again are in service as minister of history etc I find that a very interesting discussion is takin place in the cabinet. Constitution or not... Our two ladonian ladies Kicki Hankell and Vera Porad published a very thinkworthy text as I as minister of history must say is of historical value. Since the thought apparently is revolutionary, a country without constitution, there is need to ponder upon this. In fact there is a man that already formulated a thought in that direction. I do not rememeber right now exatly where in the new testament it is written, but in one place Christ says something like this "Why do you let others decide for you? Do it yourselves". This must, I suppose, be a very ladonian thought and as such a support to the thoughts of our two venerable ladies. So, why in fact do we need a constitution? Do we at all? I have myself suggested some points on the said rigmarole but have been thinking that it might be a totally futile effort. It is not needed among the highly civilized ladonians. But the civilization can also get you really fed up so as to counter this I suggest we also have an element of barbarism. I think our worthy minister of Sophistry and I on some occasion discussed something in that way. More lootin, plunder, beerquzzling, and porkeating with fat and greasy fingers is needed. And as worthy Horatius points out. No deodorants. Finally a wery wise word from the prophet A E Neumann: "What, me worry?" Best greetings from Count Torby, minister of history, Lord of Roses (they bloom in my garden right now) etc... PS. By Jupiter!!!!! The president finally speaks more than one word. A historic occasion!!! Truly. Or have I missed something earlier? C.T.m.o.h.L.o.R." SPEAKING WORDS OF WISDOM, QUEEN YWONNE I JARL, LET IT BE "Waaaaaal! Eon-president, Eon-in-waitings and the rest of the cabinet, after having communicated for a while with total s(pir)ilence I'm pleased to see that my and the presidents eonatic way of ruling is working! Of course the eon-in-waitings speak out the Queens thoughts and they didn't even have to wait for written approval. That's eonatic ruling! I'm delighted to have such a sensitive royal papparazzi who carefully chose to publish pictures at the homepage of the Ministry of Propaganda that still keeps my face anonymous. Not every Queen has a papparazzi with such a subtle sense of integrity. I also want to thank my dear court jester for doing such a great job. Every time he amuses me I choose to entitle him court jester but when he ever so often bores me I choose to entitle him Minister of Sophistry. Of course ministers are usually boring while court jesters are supposed toamuse their Queen. Last time you heard from me I suggested a coronation ceremony by te end of july. Since nobody answered to this proposal I renew tis proposal but with the slight change from july 1997 to july 1998. This will give everybody a good chance to be there for this historic event. As you may all know I have already been inofficially coronated by eon-in-waiting countess Helena von Granquist so I am in no hurry for an official ceremony. At the Jarl estate we have been busy with paying ladonian taxes, of which our royal garden is the most spectacular. The growing beds have the shape of a Vulva, a Phallus and an all-seeing eye. We will report more on the outcome later on. Before I dig in to the soil again I just want to pass on this eonatic word of wisdom from the course in miracles "Those who offer peace to everyone have found a home in Heaven the world cannot destroy." Queen Ywonne I Jarl Omnia Vincit Amor"

	A HORATIUS' SHOW Minister Horatius is a master of political poetics. Here are some examples of his comments in the governmental discussions. "I believe it because I don't see it" (a political and ironic comment in a cabinet discussion) "Anti-duelling associations were sprouting in many lands, even for instance in 1902 in Hungary, which could be nominated **a duelling country par excellence**." (V.G. Kiernan: The Duel in European History) That's us. The three of us -- sorry, I forgot Sándor -- should start a duelling club. (It already exists...)" "Maybe Ladonia should adopt paprika as one of the national spices This letter makes it water in my mouth... Horatius the elder" (a comment on Count Andras letter on paprika) "The minister of Power do fully support Ladislaus Horatius points of view regarding ministers, ministers in spe and other notable and important matters for the state of Ladonia. But since our venerable "pain in the ass" never will agre with the minister of power - We do look forward to see what effect this will have - i.e. will Ladislaus here accept me agreeing with his view." Horatius answered this friendly letter from Lord Max Kern in this way "The first prelude in Bach's Well-tempered Clavier is 35 bars long. 23 bars are dissonant." "With a minister of peace like Marquis de Croupe, who needs a minister of War? Keep up the good adrenalin!" "By the way, I have conquered some land, too. It is my own bathroom! I have already put up an American flag there. (Obviously a trick to fool the ignorant;-)) In reality my bathroom is Ladonian territory -- but everybody thinks it's American! Ministers are welcome to come to celebrate this wonderful piece of new territory. There is a bathtub in it (big enough for all the active ministers in Ladonia), and a water-closet. The sanitary box of my cat is also situated on this new Ladonian colony. There are towels and a nice collection of shampoos, oils, aftershaves, etc. But NO DEODORANTS! If a philosophical soul wishes to take up residence in my bathtub please send a formal application. Horatius -- PC sum -- (I am politically coquette)" PAPRIKA AND COUNT ANDRAS Our ambassador count Andras from Hungary has made a proposal on a Ladonian constitution and at the same time he has presented some aspects on paprika: "To satisfy your curiosity: I'm a sophomore med-student and a research fellow in Hungary. And as for the Paprika: Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, for whom this university is named after, won Noble prize for his study on the citrate cycle ( part of the cell metabolism ). He made his research on the unique Hungarian Paprika. Bet you have never tasted this kind of spice! Otherwise, you you didn't dare writing stuff like: "...research to improve the Paprika." Paprika is king of spices. It needs no improvement!"	Up
	A SECOND COLONY IN NORWAY On the 17th of May a part of Akkerhaugen in Telemark, Norway became Ladonian territory. But there was more to come. For a long time our great Minister of the Seven Seas, Count Morgan, had been invisible. But now he returned in a forceful way: "Lokøy is now Ladonian! The proud green flag is hoisted on the highest point of the Island. This is our saga and of how we achived this near impossible task: A small delegaton Ladonian noblemen arrived clandestinely on the Island in the mists of october, after an eventful journey through the high mountains of western Norway. We had in advance desided to conquer the westernmost point of Norway in order to have a free route from Ladonian territory and outward into the Atlantic Ocean. To reach our goal in a short time it was desided to use what the russians refer to as a "maskirovna", a covert plan. Therefore we posed as a normal family, while telling the tale of a free Ladonia to the habitants of the Island. By giving them little by little during the Dark months of Winter, we were able to convince them that we wished them no harm and only want to spread the noble way of Ladonia throughout the world. Finaly, on the 6th of June, at 1200 Hrs, we managed to climb the highest peak of Lokøy, and it was a beautiful day indeed, with the whole Atlantic ocean,blank as a mirror, laid out before our eyes we hoisted the flag. Afterwards we marched to the Ocean and performed the National anthem, " A throw for Ladonia". I must comment that it was not a dry eye among us in this sentimental moment. Having achived this, it is now my intension to broaden Ladonias western Territories further. We have plans to build a small castle in the town of Haugesund as to conquer a bigger, more populated part of Norway. I will during the next 3 months travel the 7 seas in order to find inspiration and to come up with a new plan for our next qest! I will set sails on the 5th of July and I shall return in mid October with a full report of my Journey. Your Humble Servant, Count M, van Ekstrøm-Ahlby, Lord Ahab the thirsty, Governor King of Lokøy Minister of the 7 Seven Seas" MARQUIS DE CROUPE, MINISTER OF PEACE AND ARCHITECTURE A rare and strong personality, our minister of peace and architecture, fighting his way in a non-violent way. Watch him in a fast moving situation at: http://home.sn.no/~daasen/	Up

ALTAR OF ERIS CONSTRUCTED We got this letter telling us about a decisive action in Ladonia: "Hear ye, oh faithful Ladonians!!! About a week or so ago a Holy Event occured in Ladonia as the altar of Eris was constructed. In pouring rain and flowing mud, I bravely made my way to Ladonia, tried hard by Greyface in my quest. But as i finally reached the border, the rain suddenly stopped, and the sun showed. Together with the construction of the altar, the Holy Waaaal was also brought back to Ladonia, as our president had foreseen. The altar itself is situated on top of the cliff above Nimis, with a beatiful view over the capital and the sea. It consists of a stone circle, separated in two halves. One of these is barren ground, with an inlaid pentagon, symbolizing the aneristic illusion, the concept of order. The other half is covered with rich green grass, in which rests a golden apple, thus symbolising the eristic illusion, the concept of chaos. On a rock atop of this stands the Holy Waaaal. All and any Discordians are hereby encouraged to make a pilgrimage and make sacrifices to the Goddess here. (The altar may be somewhat hard to find, to make things a little bit more complicated for Swedes or other haethens, who might want to desecrate the altar, but just let Eris guide your steps and you'll (hopefully) find it). Hail Eris, hail Saint Emperor Norton and Haile Selassie! PPMIIIZ -Indeed a good initiative and as mentioned in the text a deeply fascinating object with the shining cup of the holy Waaaal standing high above the sea. There is only one problem. The altar is situated in Sweden and not in Ladonia. The distance to the Ladonian border is not long, just some 15 meters, but clearly it is abroad (and the border is at this place easy to find as the border can be seen as a white line). Dissension is not easy to spread in Ladonia and this case shown here might illustrate that rule.

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	COUNT TORBY'S ADVENTURE ON THE TRAIN Our Minister of History, Count Torby, went as a young journalist on a train trip from Kalmar on the Swedish east coast to Copenhagen in Denmark. The trip was arranged by the journalist club and they were heading for the yearly carneval. Torby was a bit tired after a late night with his friends and went to the men's room where he immediately fell asleep. He suddenly woke up when the train was to be changed. He just made it, jumped on to the other train and got back to sleep. The train started off - and took him all the way back from where he came. When he woke up he had already passed his starting point. This might be appreciated as an amusing story but if you look closer at it you can easily see his future mission declaring itself: The Minister of History is moving backwards, the past is as present as the presence. If you doubt our dear minister's historical discoveries make a visit to his department: http://www.torget.se/users/t/torby/	Up
	ANOTHER ARSON IN LADONIA Vandals are almost constantly setting fire to parts of Nimis. This time the lying Tower of the Winds has been partly damaged by fire. But it must also be said that the whole in the side of the tower makes a pleasant possibility for visitors to enter the room inside - many interesting objects are to be found there.	Up
	STATE GRAPHIC ROLLING AGAIN ON ROLLER BLADES State Graphic Vera Porad inaugurated the summer with some sport activities. It was suggested to her to try roller blades as she did last summer. This time she was bolder and went suddenly downhill. Today her wrist is much better after an operation. The iron-plate she got is a problem when she has to pass detectors, but within a week or two she will get rid of the plaster and become the invincible Iron-Vera.
	GREAT EXPECTATIONS: A PRESIDENT JUNIOR? There is some spreading of rumours and they are not confirmed though quite resolute. It is to be expected a junior president in Brazil.
	LORD ASLAK'S RECOMMENDATION Minister of Propaganda, Lord Aslak recommends this interactive guide: http://www.vogon.com/ A lot of functions and pictures from Ladonia can be observed at the department of propaganda: www.sitemaker.se/propaganda	Up
	CUSTODIAN AND HILLMAN PROJECT GROUP Everything might be possible in the Hillman Project Group. Why not visit the meditations rooms to cheer up your creativity? Or why not start a carrier by making a suggestion on something to be done in Ladonia. We hope to build up the Ladonian Parliament within this sector. Ladonia is indeed eonatic and thus there is no reason to collect votes to get into the Parliament. Just get there and do the necessary business: http://www.webspawner.com/users/CaptainHillman/ You can get in touch with Baron Johan von Hillding on: johan.andersson@mbox6.swipnet.se
	IN THE HOUSE OF HEALTH Our minister of health, Emmanuel Bock, has himself built a House of Health in Ladonia. The center of the house is a meditation place where you overlook the sea. No patients to be seen as the Ladonians are extremely healthy by tradition. A visit will make you even healthier and you will have some help from the cryptic texts which you can find there. "The Kneeling 540 light years", "The Shepherd", "The Shepherds Dog", "Velox Bernardi 6,0 Light years", "Ora Pro Nobis". The style of the construction is labelled "Cartesian Cubism".

LADON ON MARS BEFORE THE AMERICANS Here is the pictures the American Government did not want the world to see. Clearly, the watchful dragon Ladon was on Mars and the Pathfinder got this picture. Our ever so clever private investigator, Lieutenant Evald Örn, has managed to captivate this image from the hands of NASA.

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It is vacation time and here is a message from the deputy minister of health, the Lieutenant. His end of the day message goes as follows: "Stay away from crowds and fireworks. The ocean is warm, excellent for late night swims. And summer lasts." So we have to meditate on this. Last summer, before the Herald was issued, he was very worried because several fishermen had been eaten by sharks. But as I once wrote in an old poem of mine: "The ocean has no memory." Maybe the same with Superior Man. Only the ego keeps fretting about this and that and the other thing, it's layer of fear. And summer lasts, so does Paradise, and the lucky ones follow their Dante up through the spheres to Primum Mobile. There is in man as well a layer of knowing, and a layer of wisdom. While the crowd shoots fireworks, the Lieutenant and his Shakti consort gaze at the stars, as they swim in a remote ocean among all its beast created by God. Dr. Emanuel von Bock Minister of Health.

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Created : 1997-07-12