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| STATE AFFAIRS | The County Council again tries to attack Ladonia. We continue to grow. Interesing philosophical break-down. |
| POLITICS & CABINET | The Diplomatic Corps handles threats. The president depressed. Hunting times. New, baiting contributions by Min. of Phil. Fisherie and much more in the Cabinet Daily. |
| NEWS & GOSSIP | Latrine Problems close to Ladonian Border. The Uarda Academy paid a visit. Great burning in Norwegian Colony and the State Dog is now a nobility. |
| THOGHTS | Laird gives his wievs. |
| AT THE END OF THE DAY | The Minister of Health continues to share his gifts and open the doors of perception: Now with some highly elegant poetry. |
| Managing Editor: Lars Vilks
Executive Editor: Vera Porad The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us. |
EDITORIAL Ladonia is growing and growing. Today we have 3.400 citizens. We hope
that all of them are developing the Ladonian Philosophy. Ladonia has lost
two ministers of philosophy, but on the other hand all of our ministers
deals with philosophical matters. A CUP OF SEA WATER POURED UPON THE FLOOR. ENFORCEMENT OFFICER THREATENING LADONIA The County Council is renewing its attack on Ladonia by engaging the enforcement officer in taking away Nimis and Arx. Thus they want to wipe our capital to the ground as well as our next biggest town. Ladonia has struck back and we won the first round. The enforcement officer has to wait for a verdict from the court. And to make it clear: We didn't start a war. A PROTECTION AREA IN KVARNTORP Ladonia has conquered another part of Sweden. This time a part of Naerke where a huge construction has been built on top of the famous hill in Kvarntorp, situated in Kumla. The citizens in this area asked for a possibility to have a spot of freedom. In this case Ladonia has claimed this as a protection area. |
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LADONIA DIPLOMATICS Mr John Parman, head of the diplomatic corps in Ladonia, has had a discussion with Atlantis, a micronation in Australia. He has a rather direct language and it has come to a discussion whether this is offensive or philosophical or what. Here is the conversation: "Greetings From The Imperial Chamber Of Atlantis and His Imperial Majesty Emperor Of Atlantis Jason I The Emperor Has Been Watching Your Nation For A Long Period Of Time And Has Come To A Decision The Great Emperor Whishes To Make Peace With Ladonia And Its People Refusing This Offer Would Be A Great Insult To Atlantis And His Imperial Majesty And The Only Way The Emperor Sees Things Is That If Not Friend You Are = An Enemy And From This A War Would Start Mr Parman replied: Well, what crap this is, we have quite a policy for creating proper diplomatic channels. As chief of the Diplomatic Corps of Ladonia, I find it funny that a group of little boys in Australia would impose such a stupid and harmless threat against a nation that numbers over 3000 real citizens, some of whom are in Australia and will recieve it as soon as I decide to send it. What is so hilarious is how out of line you are. I will hold on to this letter and as you can see by the other address I have sent it to and the addresses I have BCC'd I have forwarded this message to eighty-seven nations telling them to ignore you completely. Your little threat won't be treated lightly, you'll be ostracized, mocked, laughed at, well right insults about you in IRC's post your letter on alt.politics.micronations and many other like minded newsgroups. Your government will collapse as your one man state's one little boy decides there other things to do than pretend to be someone he's not. Awaiting the sinking of Atlantis," John Parman Chief of the Diplomatic Corps of Ladonia PRESIDENT DEPRESSED Our most dear president Fernando Rodrigues is somewhat depressed at the moment. The winter season has started in Brazil and this has sent the president a touch of melancholy: "I must confess I am a bit depressed these days, as the winter time approches Brazil, downhere in the Southern Hemisphere." We will support him in all possible ways and we ask our citizens to send him glad tidings from all over the world. TWO MESSAGES FROM THE MINISTER OF PHILOSOPHY It might be that Ladonia has more latrine problems (see Misc. News & Gossip). At least these two utterances from Franco Gelli, minister of philosophy, are strongly candidating: "Vaffanculo, stronzo, frocio svedese" and "Go take a jump into the sea, dickhead". - Or are we wrong? Is these words just underlining Mr Gelli's hate towards the swedes? EDUCATION IN LADONIA Our minister of unschooling, Gunnar Jarl living in Far Ladonia, one of our colonies, is asking for a minister of education. This is his proposal: "Our educational program will include all citizens, from age 0 and up. As a first step we will introduce a compulsory Walk and Talk Education. All children has a right to be educated and so far all nations in the world has ignored the important first two learning years of our most vulnerable group - the infants. All infants should be correctly trained to be able to walk and talk in their future life as responsible citizens of a demanding society. The Walk and Talk Education shall be compulsory from birth until the age of 2 years. If a child has not yet learned to walk and talk correctly by that time, it shall be supported by a special needs educational program until an acceptable level of walking and talking skills is acheived. A national curriculum for the Walk and Talk School will be drawn up. I can see no objection to accepting me as Minister of Education in the fact that I am also the Minister of Unschooling. On the contrary - this reflects the balance that is needed in a society of free thought. As head of both chairs I can let my chaotic and my ordered sides of myself confront each other in a perfect harmonic blend. I think it is a perfect opportunity right now to appoint me as Minister of Education since the Minister of Unschooling is out floating on an iceberg and cannot oppose this appointment. I promise a vivid debate between the two ministries!" Gunnar Jarl of Far Ladonia MOOSE, BUFFALO...REPORT FROM THE MINISTRY OF HUNTING The Ministry of Hunting and Game Preservation is starting the Ladonia Species and Game Bank. In this bank we want to collect and store the species of Ladonia, concentrating at mammals and birds. We are doing this in order to get a functional game management, a hunting act with a hunting time tabel that is up to date. We also want to make it clear which species of game hunters can find in Ladonia and when they can hunt to get the best result for both game and hunters. Hunting times We do not want any restrictions if they are not necessary, like for example the case with moosehunting. There is no moose in Ladonia, therefore we don´t need any restrictions. The hunting starts the same day as in Sweden and goes on until that we get bored. The Red list The stationary or just passing game of Ladonia should be placed on the Red list and will not be aloud to shoot at or in any other way harm. For all the other game we don´t need any restrictions. These games will be a source for joy and excitement to the diplomated hunters of Ladonia. We can when we want to, go Big Game hunting in Ladonia and hunt for example Lions, Moose or Buffalo. The important thing is after all not to use our weapons but enjoy a good time in the wonderful nature of Ladonia. Please contact us and tell which species you have seen in Ladonia. Just mail the Minister at: a96larvi@student.his.se www: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/8433/examen.html You are most welcome with your observations. Lars Vipsjö Minister of Hunting and Game Preservation HIGH SOCIETY: OUR ETERNAL MINISTER Countess Madeleine has been accepted as eternal minister in Ladonia.She is the first minister ever of this kind. Whatever happens she will remain minister. Beyond mortality, for ever blooming...Countess Madeleine is minister of tennis and figure skating as well as our ambassador in USA. Countess Madeleine sends us this report from Budapest: "Just back from Budapest, where, on Tuesday, 5/12/98, I received a personally guided tour of the Hungarian Parliament building by the Secretary of State of Hungary (1990-94), The Honorable Geza Jeszenszky. I must say it was a great honor besides being an awe inspiring experience. I attended the Royal Wedding and reception, by invitation only, of Archduchess Margharite von Habsburg-Lothringen and Count-Marquis Dr. Benedekt von Piatti. All the luminary aristocracy of Europe was there. Among them dr. Otto von Habsburg and his wife Regina, the bride's godmother, Royal Princess Margriet of Holland, the ruling family of Lichtenstein, Prince Philip of Belgium, Hohenzollers, some from Sweden also. From among the Hungarian high nobility the Esterhazy, Festetics, Bathyany, Karoly and Nyari families were invited. England was represented by the Duke and Duchess of Wellington, close friends of the Habsburg family. Altogether there were 500 invited guests all beautifully dressed. All the men wore the traditional wedding attire of tails, striped trousers, gray vests and neck skarves. There were many onlookers outside the 1000 year old Matyás church on top Castle Hill. The affair lasted 7 hours. Many liked Budapest so much they stayed on for a few days. Alex Posvari offered to take pictures outside the church with his digital camera but unfortunately it was raining in his neighborhood and decided to stay home. Thank you for approving "my eternal ministership". I was also present, again this year, at the Esztergom Basilica on May 2 to once again celebrate the 23 anniversary of Cardinal Mindszenty's death. I was seated next to the Mindszenty Foundation's president Archduke Michael von Habsburg and Hungary's Ambassador, Archduke George von Habsburg." Yours truly, Countess Madeleine, Ladonia's Ambassador to the US PHILOSOPHICAL FISHING The Lojtnant, newly appointed minister of philosophical fisherie, came with this letter concerning further work of his - as well as attacking the minister of brain: "We shall, needless to say, at all times and in any way humanly possible, attempt to do our utmost to do the Office the Honor it so well deserves. This includes offensive tasks, and I should thus ask to be briefed by the Minister of Defense and the Naval Forces Coordinator. From a Philosophical Fisheries Ministery point of view, there is already a state of war in existence. We need to be concerned with a large number of foreign entities here. Our regular citizens are under attack. Sweden, Norway and Denmark represent but the tip of this iceberg of greed. Greater nations may have to be notified of our struggle for the Fish of Ladonia and our resolve not to rest until our citizens of the deep enjoy peace and democracy. To rest is not to conquer that which belongs to Ladonia. Ladonia is large enough to allow all species to frolic freely in its waters (with a mere modicum taken out to please the court and to keep the stock healthy; especially immigrants without a valid visa). We need to return the Ladonian fisheries to the point where a gentleman can bring in large specimens, standing barefoot and dressed appropriately (jacket and tie) on the outer rocks in an effort to bring about a true dialogue with these spectacular animals of the deep. Such dialogues have been initiated on these Atlantic shores. There is a possibility that several rocks may be claimed as Ladonian Colonies, including Elephant Rock in Buzzards' Bay where one can hold discussions with the local colonies of Pomatamus Saltatrix and Morone Saxatilis, not to mention Homerus Americanus. while studying celestial phenomena accompanied by the main light of Martha's Vineyard. The Secretary of State should advise, if I might so suggest. ____________________________________________________ With all due respect, I must protest with regard to statements made by the Minister of the Brain (whose brain?). Not only does he not (a) accept responsibility for disbursing the award to the deserving parties or (b) recognize the advances made in the field beyond his feeble imagination - instead he rambles on about a tautological "cyclic return" of some raptor or another. What did the learned Minister have in mind! A linear return perhaps? That would have been interesting. I fear the Minister in question has read too many back issues of Veckojournalen in his private retreat to enable him to develop this level of prose." Lojtn. |
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UARDA OR WHAT IS A TRIKINI The famous UARDA-Academy payed a visit to Ladonia on the 30th of April. Their task was to make 1. An heroic achievement and 2. Open a Ladonian UARDA-Academy. That was done and the Ladonian UARDA got a spot where they can meet when so they wish. They also started to carve a sfinx from one of the big stones in Ladonia. As a gift Ladonia was presented a very valuable egyptian tapestry bought illegally from Egypt for less than 2 million swedish crowns. Some lesser known words are regularly presented by the academy. E.g. "Trikini". Not everyone knows that this is a bathing suit in three parts. Very fashionable, but it also contains a philosophical understanding of swimming; you have the moment before going into water, then the very going into water and then the moment afterwards. The trikini will make you aware of this and make your swim much richer. Some other words to contemplate: "Antiloop", a reversed flying movement, "Kukulele", a rather rare instrument containing a cuckoo clock. EXPRESS MAIL More service to Ladonian customers! It is now possible to send express letters. You just pay double postage (2 Oertug). You are then allowed to run with your letter as fast as you wish. (As most of you know everyone is his own postman in Ladonia) LATRINE PROBLEMS Ladonia has given Sweden some latrine problems. Visitors to Ladonia
uses swedish latrines near the border and this is expensive for the swedes.
We think this is a good way of administering an economic war towards the swedes. THE GOOD BURNING At Akkershaugen in Norway one can find a Ladonian colony. On the 30th
of April the construction of wood was burnt down in a ceremony. Our governor Inger
(the volve) had the fire started with the words: "Let the tower
burn, long live Ladonia". During the fire in a ravishing evening
drums were beating. Sparks flying around mingling with the stars.
The volve cast the rune and got INGUZ. Her interpretation is that
we have entered a time of change, a way out from a closed state. LITTLE LORD FELIX The state dog of Ladonia has become a part of the nobility due to his success as the irresistable. He is now Little Lord Felix. |
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A LETTER FROM LAIRD Some interesting initiatives and thoughts have come from Laird: "Was it sabotage by Swedish counter-espionage agents that caused the destruction of the distributor box of the car belonging to the Caledonian Ambassador to Ladonia? In this way further postponing the official presentation of the long-rumoured Letter of Accreditation to the COurt of Waal? And preventing loud poetry declamations from the Tower of Wotan to the sea, ladybirds, pine-trees and any Ladonians that chanced to be at home on the Feast of Beltain...?? Maybe a topic for the Herald. As my first creative act for Ladonia I am presently engaged in executing a translation of the fascinating Pilgrim Falcon recipie, which should earn Ladonia pre-eminent attention from bird-lovers around the globe. I would also like to congratulate all Ladonians on the creative power of her thinkers. Surely the discovery and study of the logomer and the zygomorph must rank as 2 of the top-10 discoveries of the current Universe. I actualy have to confess to being a bit overawed by being a citizen of the same country that cn produce such thinkers. By the way, have you noticed that the Ladonia Herald has really surpassed the discussion board as the creative force that continues to plot - and drive - the development of Ladonia. A final comment - more Miss Ladonia to tantalize our unbridled imaginations (Donna e mobile, the Ambassador is not)." A downcast Laird Glenalmond |
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Our minister of health is openly blaming the editors for a mistake he made himself. He is even a bit ironic as you can read.Nevertheless he takes us on a journey of deep thinking, great spirituality in the form of a lyrical poem: "The editors of Herald 16 made an idiotic mistake with the last end of the day text, on the disk handed to them unfortunately earlier rather deep thoughts had not been deleted before the new text was entered, and the editors most unfavourably for our regard of the standard of their wits failed to realize this, it is a puzzle, an enigma, how they could fail to see the difference between the new and the old, so my new great text ended, one must say, in a total rubble of completely irrelevant material. Therefore, this time I have decided to write poems. The editors might recognize that some sets of words are stanzas, albeit they might fail go catch the deeper meaning of them.
At the end of the day, some reflexions.
I. Let us all together form an algebraic ring of brothers and of sisters and treat ourselves in an algebraic way and give this set some properties we have maybe considered many times before put the sisters in a subset and the brothers in another then deploy an arbitrary algorithm and try and see what happens maybe you find a world of strife and chaos or maybe an immobile and orderly.
II. I am a human being my coat is nicely cut I wear a pair of sneakers for quick escape accross the rocks a gail is raging on this shore and soon i climb a rocky wall the breakers thrust against it down below seagulls hover in the sky ripped and teared the cluods fly by wash my face with icy slashes rain & hail this hardened poker face of a Minister in love who does not know who is the lucky female dove!
III.
On this place when summer comes young shepards and youndg maidens ignorant of greater manhood work undress easily like children unaware of any serpent twined around the tree and dive indulgingly in turquoise, cooling waters tan their skins in gently smiling sun with nothing on their minds.
The Ministry of Health wishes all peoples of the world a beautiful summer! Dr Emanuel von Bock, minister of health. And finally, a hint to our brave editors, this is the end of the text." |
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© Copyright 1998 Lars Vilks and Arrive Inter Media
Created : 1998-05-29
