Ladonia Herald, 26th issue, June 1999
26th issue, June 1999


Omfalos, the navel of the world.

See more lovely ladonian sunset wievs

Art Gallery: National painter T. Brush's latest paintings
 

Ladonian Summer fashion!

New t-shirts of Arx and Nimis are available now in the Ladonia Shop!


Managing Editor: Lars Vilks Executive Editor: Vera Porad
The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us.
 


EDITORIAL

 

ALWAYS WAR

The peaceloving people of Ladonia are constantly threatened by its neighbours. Since a month we are involved in the fight of the count. The former landowner is trying to wipe out Ladonia. The head of this aggression is count Ehrensvaerd. Now, Ladonia is not too worried. We have a strong defence and we actually welcome the count when he is asking for troubles. Our strategy is to turn the war into an operetta and our highest wish is to make the count dance and sing - like they do in operettas.

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POLITICS & CABINET

 

DEVELOPMENT OF THE MINISTRY OF UNSCHOOLING

Gunnar Jarl is constructing new methods and change of name of his ministry:

"I just want to inform the cabinet that I have decided to change the name of my office. It will in the future be called the Ministry of Natural Imprinting, and I will be minister of natural imprinting (mini).

The change is a result from attending a national home education conference in UK in London two weeks ago. All of us in the royal family were there, and listened among other speakers to John Taylor Gatto and Pat Farenga from USA. Gattos speech focused on the fourth purpose of the modern school system. As you may guess the fourth purpose is to make young members of our society conform to the current hierarchical social system (i.e. to be good and loyal workers and consumers). Farenga is the publisher of the Growing Without Schooling magazine. He now asked if it is time to Grow Without Education, since we all seem to be totally focused on that issue - to get the right education for our children.

"Only with the right education your child will have a future" is a myth he tried to brake down. I then realized that we still use the language of the very same system that we have rejected - like unSCHOOLING or home EDUCATION. So I decided I needed to invent a new terminology for the thing we are doing. As an ecologist I recalled that when we talk about other animals' raising their offspring we use the term IMPRINTING. It is a term that includes all learning that a living organism needs for its survival and reproduction, including social life. So that is exactly what we humans are doing too. We are naturally imprinting ourselfs. Thus as a consequence I needed to make the change of name on the ministry."

Gunnar Jarl, mini

Non in scholae sed ex vitae discimus


USING THE METHOD OF NATURAL IMPRINTING

It can be a hard way using the method of natural imprinting, as experienced by Vera Porad, state graphic:

"I am most happy to welcome the Minister of natural imprinting. I can also report that the State Dog this very day of the new Ladonian office has suffered a severe case of natural imprinting.

As we were taking our morning stroll he set off to hunt some deer, despite my decisive and strongly expressed will against the action.

The deer ran across the forest and the little State Dog Lord Felix (he is very small) after them, totally blind and deaf to anything but his game.

I call him, I wissle, but as any experienced dog-owner knows there is little one can do. My fault was already made. I returned home for breakfast hoping all would go well.

It did not.

The State Dog soon returned, wet, dirty, shivering, unhappy in the arms of a kind neighbour who was the first human he encountered on his way home. He had soars on his little head and a fleshy wound right above the eye.

For the rest of the day he did not leave my feet. He was very brave at the vet´s office. He will be OK, but he stretched his legs in the hunt.. And hopefully, if the natural imprinting works, he will think once next time he goes off hunting."


LADONIAN COMMUNITY IN HUNGARY

Dear fellow Ladonians, 

We've got the 2nd member brought in the HC.  I also would like to send the Bylaws of the HC:

 ================================================

HUNGARIAN AUTONOMOUS COMMUNITY ORGANIZATION, LADONIA

Bylaws of the HC: 

First Chapter: The Community. 

1.1. The Hungarian Community is a self-governing Ladonian political organization.

1.2. The Hungarian Community's full name is: "The Hungarian Autonomous Community Organization".

1.3. The Hungarian Community can have any kind of members, even members without Hungarian nationality.

Second Chapter: The Members. 

2.1. The Hungarian Community members can have the following ranks: HC-Member, Councillor, Secretary, Vicegovernor

2.2. The Hungarian Community members can reach promotion to higher ranks with high activity level.

Third Chapter: The Council. 

3.1. The Hungarian Community Council is the highest organization in course of the HC. It can have max. 5 members.

3.2. The position of Chairman in the HCC belongs to the Vicegovernor. If there isn't a vicegovernor, the post belongs to the Governor of the Hungarian Community.

3.3. Only the Governor of the HC can promote a member to a higher rank. The Vicegovernor or the Secretaries can give proposals of promoting. 

Fourth Chapter: Last words of the Bylaws. 

The Bylaws was written by the Governor of the Hungarian Community.  It needs to be strictly kept. The Ladonian politicians of the Parliament  and the Cabinet can send in proposals of changing the Bylaws if  perhaps there are parts which do not correspond with their conditions.

The Bylaws of the Hungarian Community was written by: 

Governor Lord Thomas (Hendon) Bako on the: 6th of May, 1999. Ladonian time: 6:32pm (6:29 GMT + 3 min.) 

=H=C=BYLAWS==1999=

Come on, join in! 

The current memberlist of the HC is:

Governor: Lord Thomas Hendon Bako (tami@nomad.sbnet.ro)

Vicegovernor: (none)

Secretary: (none)

HC-Member: Atti (atti@mail.matav.hu)

HC-Member: Stefan Bako (pityu@nomad.sbnet.ro)

THE HC WANTS YOU TO JOIN TOO!

Best Rgs.

Lord Thomas, mh

HUNGARIAN SERVICE 

All ladonians living in Hungary will now have the opportunity to read in hungarian language. Our minister Thomas Bako has produced this article: 

"Az els" magyar nyelv- cikk a Herald-ban!

Kedves magyar Ladoniai honfitarsaim, ezent£l minden Heraldban lesz egy magyar nyelv- cikk! Az angol Heraldot nem szeretn,m sz¢r¢l sz¢ra leford¡tani, £gyhogy v rom b rkinek a level,t aki szeretn, szerkeszteni a Herald magyar nyelv- cikkj,t.

V rom a v,lem,nyeket, ¡rjatok! 

A magyar nyelv- cikk szerkeszt"je: Lord Bak¢ Tam s"

Best Rgs

Lord Thomas

P.S. The article is short because this is only the first, advertising one. Everyone can send opinions about the article, and can give ideas, too. I hope the article will be succesful...


COUNTESS MADELEINE REPORTS

From our eternal minister and american ambassador we have received this very interesting report from the embassy life:

"The Embassy of Ladonia in Madison, Wisconsin has been honored with a visit by His Excellency, Ambassador Géza Jeszenszky of the Republic of Hungary to the United States. I, the Ambassador of Ladonia to the USA, have driven down to Chicago on Sunday, May 16, 1999 to pick up Ambassador Jeszenszky and Mrs. Jeszenszky at 2:00 p.m. at the St. Stephan Catholic Church. My driver made sure we arrived on time. A little after 2:00 p.m. we were on our way to Madison with Mrs Jeszenszky sitting by the driver and His Excellency and myself on the back-seat discussing the International situation, His Excellency's speech to a very knowledgeable audience at 7:30 p.m. that evening, a CBS interview before the talk, and our courtesy call on the Governor of Wisconsin Tommy G. Thompson at the Mansion. We had a lovely ride until we ran into a very heavy thunderstorm. The Ambassador and Mrs. Jeszenszky never have been in such a storm not to mention the spectacular lightning straight from the sky touching the earth. The driver pulled over for a short while until it was possible to see the road again. We arrived at 6:00 p.m. sharp at the Mansion. Governor Thompson greeted us with great enthusiasm then later the Secretary of Commerce also joined us in the drawing room. It turned out that the Governor and the Ambassador were exactly of the same age. Both were born on November 10, 1941. There was an exchange of gifts and serious trade and political discussions.

The Governor invited His Excellency to stay at the Mansion next time he is in Madison. The Ambassador has given an excellent talk later that evening. He is very well informed and a superior orator. They were my house-guests for the duration of their visit. We drove back to Chicago with Mrs. Jeszenszky driving (she insisted on it) and the Ambassador navigating. We left the driver in Madison. Unfortunately we took the wrong exit off I-90 Hwy. unto 290. My detailed knowledge of Chicago did get us to 81 East Van Buren Street where the Chicago Club is located and the Ambassador was scheduled to deliver yet another talk. We said our warm good-byes with hugs and kisses and promises to get together again purely for fun. The Ambassador arrived safely to Washington on Wednesday before noon. Attached is a photo of the Ambassador after his talk answering a question of a member of the audience." 

Your servant,

Countess Madeleine, Ambassador

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MISCALLENOUS NEWS & GOSSIP

 
HORATIUS IN EXPRESSEN
 
 Thomas Diestel, our minister of accommodation recommends:
 "I would like to take away a moment of your valuable time, on behalf of our very learned and sometimes funny friend Ladislaus. He has his own special column now with questions from the readers. It is similar to the old "Inge & Sten" and "Dr.Ruth" concept, where readers ask questions mainly regarding their own sexlife. This time however, Ladislaus only answers those questions above the waist line ,of existential nature. Normally "Expressen" (= the express, one of Swedens most popular newspapers) belongs to the same sort of "easy read" newspapers as most English and The Bild Zeitung. But now however, they have increased their quality with 100%. It can only be bought on Sundays and I recommend those of you who can, to do so Sunday next!"

HORATIUS IN DAGENS NYHETER
 
The biggest newspaper of Sweden, Dagens Nyheter (Daily News) is writing stories on the stressful modern lifestyle with mobilephones ringing, constant connection with the internet, ulcers etc. On reporting the round-the-clock life at Stureplan, Stockholm city the reporter saw Horatius, "Philosopher of slowness" sitting on a bench. The reporter walks towards Horatius to hear his opinion on the fastspeed society when the mobilephone rings. And when the reporter looks up again, Horatius is already gone. In the fast lane?

RASPUTIN IN OPPOSITION
 
 This letter was received on the discussion board:
 "It is time for Ladonia to rise from the grave. And die again.
During this summer we are to cruch the "remoni", and fire the SS!! Long live the ETERNAL revolution!! Ladonia (the "art"work) and state is dead, long live the most interactive freedomloving state in the universe: Mohabala-transinteractive!! (a real work of art) If you want to visit us, see us in real life, on the real earth!! sincerely,
Rasputin (the adversary)" 
The state secretary (S/S) wishes him all the best with his plans.

EMBASSY OF DREAMS IN ARVIKA
 
Ambassador of Ladonia, Janove Ekstedt has set up an embassy in Arvika, Sweden. "It is an embassy for dreams just like Ladonia is a country for dreams" explains the ambassador. He also handed out a clipart paper model of a mobile embassy: "Your dreams and wishes come true with a little glue".
The embassy made great success and was a well-visited spot in Arvika. It also was possible to apply for citizenship and buy ladonian souvenirs.

VISIT THE DUNGEON

Count Anders "Antra" Demant Petersen I of Ladonia invites you to visit the shining and filled-with-music page:

http://www.antra.dk


LADONIAN LANGUAGE

 
As you all know the Ladonian language has only one word "waaaall". It can be spelt in different ways (w(aa....)(l.....). A visitor asked the other day how one can understand the differerence between an icecream and a potatoe when using the ladonian language. I don't think there is a problem as nobody has ever complained. Take the sentence "I would like to have an icecream"
Waaaaaaaaalll waaaaaaaaaallll waaall waaaaaaaaaaall waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall waaaaaaaaaallllll waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall -
and the sentence "I would like to have a potatoe" Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll waaaaaaaaaaaaaalll waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall waaalll waaaaall waaaaaaaaaaaaall waaaaaaaaaall. As you can see there is a difference.

GUARD YOUR KIDNEYS
 
From Brazil we hear a horrifying story that is said to have happened in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
A young medical student went alone to a bar and soon enough found himself chatting along with a beautiful and charming woman. They quite early left to her place to have more beers.
Next thing, our student wakes up in bathtub filled with icecubes. A note on the wall says: "Call the emergency hospital now or you will die". He finds a phone and does so, explaining the very strange situation. The attendant nurse asks if he can see two 15 centimeter scars on his back and, in the the mirror, he does.
He is told to immediately return to the bathtub and an ambulance is there to pick him up very quickly.
As it turns out, the student has been assaulted of his kidneys, a precious merchandise and lucrative business in these days of transplantation technology. It is said highly specialized leagues perform these crimes and are known to do so.
So folks, guard your kidneys and never, ever talk to strangers.

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MILLENIUM

 
DRACULA MEETING IN 2000?
 
Plans are made for a meeting of ladonians in Transsylvania. It is a proposition made by minister Bako and here supported by Minister Andras: 
"I was so happy to hear that our country is getting to be well known to the Swedish youth. It is a good idea to tell about our country to young people at schools and by certain standardized tests. That made me wonder, and I came up with an idea what we should do: advertise Ladonia in various countries, ie. in schools, etc. We have the officials to do so: we have ambassadors throughout the world... 
I support the idea of Lord Tamas regarding his idea to visit Erdely ( = Transylvania, the home of the Vampires ) for the 9th Saint George days. Why don't we JUST start organize the FIRST MEETING OF LADONIAN CABINET MEMBERS in Transylvania in April, 2000??? Personally, I would love to go there..." 
Sincerely: Count Andras

MINDS 1000-2000

Lord Aslak, minister of propaganda has offered a list of the most interesting geniouses of the Millenium. You can vote on this list which can be found at:

http://www.sitemaker.se/propaganda/indexopinions.html

You can present new candidates as our minister John Parman has done: "everyone knows who is human of the millenium: Kemal Ataturk!!"

Here Lord Aslak is presenting another type of minds:

"I have met interesting viewpoints on my suggested list for the 10 most genious minds of the Millennium. However, few of you have come up with suggestions on how to perfect the list.

Maybe we ladonians find geniouses uninteresting? Therefore, I launch the idea of making a new list:

The XX most twisted minds of the Millennium.

This is somewhat more difficoult. I have, very briefly, summoned a few suggestions to this list. But I know there are many twisted minds in the past thousand years I've forgotten... There must be a lot of twisted inventors, artists, scientists, etc., that we could put on the list.

Therefore, if you find this angle a little bit more appealing, don't hesitate to make suggestions. Here are a few of the really, really twisted minds the humaity has encountered during the past Millennium:

Hitler, Adolf 1889 - 1945

Leader of the National Socialist (Nazi) Party (from 1920/21) and dictator of Germany (1933-45). Adolf Hitler's persecution of the Jews in Germany began a month after he became chancellor on Jan. 30, 1933. The total number of Jews exterminated by the Nazis is estimated to be approximately 5,700,000. (This is about 12 percent of the estimated total of probably more than 46,000,000 military personnel and civilians killed worldwide in World War II.)

Pope Sixtus IV (FRANCESCO DELLA ROVERE)

1414 - 1484

In 1478 the pope, Sixtus IV, sent out a papal bull setting up the Inquisition to deal with the supposedly evil influence of the Jews and "conversos". Too late, Sixtus IV realized the enormous ecclesiastical powers that he had given away and the moral dangers inherent in an institution the proceedings of which were secret and that did not allow appeals to Rome.

Kevorkian, Jack (Dr Death)

1928-

in 1952 graduated from the University of Michigan Medical School. Early in his professional training, Kevorkian distanced himself from the medical mainstream. As a pathology resident, he lobbied for carrying out medical experiments on death-row inmates at the hour set for their execution, then giving them lethal injections, which earned him the sobriquet "Dr. Death." Later he advocated establishing suicide clinics ("obitoria") Kevorkian gained international attention when in 1990 he enabled Janet Adkins of Portland, Ore., aged 54 and in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, to kill herself by using his so-called Mercitron machine. Over the following 3 1/2 years he was present at the deaths of 20 others. In November and December 1993 Jack Kevorkian served two jail sentences on charges that he had violated the state's law against assisting in a suicide. In prison he threatened to starve himself to death to protest what he called "this immoral law." Frail and weakened by his second hunger strike, he was released from jail on Dec. 17, 1993, after promising that he would not participate in the deaths of any further terminally ill individuals.

Amin, Idi (IDI AMIN DADA OUMEE)

1924/25 -

Military officer and president (1971-79) of Uganda Amin ruled directly, shunning the delegation of power. He was noted for his abrupt changes of mood, from buffoonery to shrewdness, from gentleness to tyranny. He was often extreme in his nationalism. He expelled all Asians from Uganda in 1972, an action that led to the breakdown of Uganda's economy. In July 1976 he was personally involved in the Palestinian hijacking of a French airliner to Entebbe. Amin also took tribalism, a long-standing problem in Uganda, to its extreme by allegedly ordering the persecution of Acholi, Lango, and other tribes. Amidst reports of the torture and murder of 100,000 to 300,000 Ugandans during Amin's presidency, Uganda was invaded by Ugandan nationalist and Tanzanian troops in October 1978.

When the invasion forces reached Kampala, Uganda's capital, on April 13, 1979, Amin had fled the city. Escaping first to Libya, he finally settled in Saudi Arabia.

Stalin, Joseph (IOSEB DZHUGASHVILI)

1879 - 1953

Secretary-general of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (1922-53) and premier of the Soviet state (1941-53). After WWII and the Cold War, Stalin was responsible of deportation of more than 50 nationalities, embracing about 3.5 million people, to various parts of the U.S.S.R. The vast majority of these were removed from European Russia to Asiatic Russia. The late Stalin period witnessed campaigns against Jews and non-Russians. Writers and artists who dared to claim that Russian writers and cultural figures of the past had learned from the West were pilloried. Russian chauvinism took over, and anything that was worth inventing was claimed to have been invented by a Russian.

Hussein, Saddam (SADDAM HUSSEIN AT-TIKRITI)

1937 -

President of Iraq from 1979, who engaged in costly and unsuccessful wars against neighbouring countries. Hussein launched an invasion of Iran's oil fields in September 1980, but the campaign bogged down in a war of attrition. In August 1990 his army overran neighbouring Kuwait in a surprise attack. Hussein apparently intended to use that nation's vast oil revenues to bolster Iraq's economy, but his occupation of Kuwait quickly triggered a worldwide trade embargo against Iraq. On Jan. 16, 1991, the U.S.-led military coalition drove Iraq's armies out of Kuwait."

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AT THE END OF THE DAY

 

Today, the Minister of Health passes on a story sent to him by a good friend.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

 The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. 

And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

 As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. 

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band -- he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

 Epilogue - There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Bear this always in your mind. Enjoy the flowers, the birds and the coming summer.

Dr E. von Bock,
Min. of Health

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CONTACT INFORMATION

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You can send us e-mail or use the adress below.

Vera Porad, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden


© Copyright 1999 Lars Vilks, Vera Porad and Arrive Inter Media
Created : 1999-05-31