11th issue, September 1997
SEE ALSO: STATE AFFAIRS WITH LADY DI-EXTRA * POLITICS & CABINET * PATRIOTISM * NEWS & GOSSIP * POEMS & SENTENCES *
PRESIDENTIAL TOP-MEETING IN MOSCOW
"Rome wasn't built in one day" Comrade Lenin told President Rodrigues in Moscow.
On August 10th the Ladonian President Fernando Rodrigues met Comrade Lenin, creator of the Russian revolution of 1917 and former leader of the Soviet Union. The meeting was held in a very informal manner in Arbat street in Moscow. Lenin told the President that he thought eonacy was an even better idea than Marxism, but warned him also: "I can now see that some ideas are better off as ideas and not put into practice by force", Lenin said. The President confirmed Lenins thesis and stated that Time is the main factor in Ladonian life and consciousness. "Rome wasn´t built in one day" the powerful political leaders concluded, no other parallels drawn.
THE END OF THE DAYManaging Editor: Lars Vilks Executive Editor: Vera Porad
The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us.
THE LADONIAN COURTEON MOURNS LADY DIANA The life and fate of Princess Diana of Great Britain is one of the most
astonishing and significant of this century. She in a most magnificent way
managed to stir up one of the worlds most conservative and traditional institutions
in its very foundation with a simple thing called love. The media, with
the kind assistance of our hunger for fairy-tales and scandals, has iconized
her. For being such a "girl-next-door" and just like you and me
she will become sanctified after her death. Nevertheless, with a civil courage
like hers she is definitely a worthy candidate of the title "Eonat
of the Year." LADONIA ANNOUNCEMENTS The president in Russia The number of Ladonian citizens are almost 2.700. The president Fernando Rodrigues has in the beginning of August visited the country in the air. He continued his travel attended by State Graphic Vera Porad to St Petersburg and Moscow. The president will have a meeting with Lenin. LADONIA RECOGNIZED On the 26th of July a Ladonian delegation were officially received in the swedish town Falkenberg. The reception took place at the main square, the national anthems were played, speeches were held, flags hoisted. Ladonia was represented by the Minister of Health, E. Bock, Minister of Brain, T. Mathiesen, Minister of Defence R. Ahlqvist, Minister of Mail. S. Mellström, Minister of Jazz, M. Granvik, Minister of Film, S. Olsson, Custodian J. Andersson and the State Secretary. The Ladonian Embassy was inaugurated. After the official ceremonies the represent of Falkenberg Community, chairman Stig Agnåker and curator Johan Rosenlind invited the Ladonian Delegation to a lunch. |
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THE POETICS OF CONSTITUTION The solution of the problem of the Ladonian constitution is near. The proposal we have is a constitution in two parts. Part one gives some practical set of rules for the remony, part two gives the essential values on which a hint can be found in the following comment by Custodian and Baron J. von Hillding: "The constitution could however be something totally different from other countries constitutions. It could be soaked in Ladonian sweat and tears, it could be barely readable due to flames of fire, it could be painted in a green colour spectra and written with apple-red letters. In the book of Constitution, pictures, with many readings, fragments of dreams, windy longings and more, could make up a truly eonatic piece of work. It would be OUR constitution, even though an open one, in large parts free to interpret. Hillman says to us that we shouldn't be afraid, that we should develope our mode of communicating and get on with our journey, not stay put and circulate. We have to let go of the world from which we came. This is the deepest and most essential of challenges for us as ladonians" Well, so its up to you, dear ministers and others, to ponder on this suggestion. Hillman is a visionary and I mean its a wise thing to follow in his footpath." "What I do, What I have to do Is what I'm doing" COUNT ANDRAS IN DEBATE Count Andras from Hungary has written some words concerning the developement in Ladonia: "Every time I read letters addressed to the Administration of Ladonia, I am beset by the same concern - that what is the meaning of this mailing list, and of the Cabinet itself? We think and believe that Ladonia will prosper and we want it! Do you think, dear Ministers and other noble citizens, that it is simply a matter of flipping a switch? I'll tell you what: IT IS NOT!!! If you use the administration for, and spend your time only with exposing each other as a tacky person, we will never proceed in creating our beloved country. I ask you to get a grip on yourselves and do what you're supposed to do so. Should an important question arise, feel free to respond. For example: who has ever made comment on appointing Dr Sandor Posvari of Minister of Entrepreneurs? I vote YES on him! I guess each of you has a great opinion on EVERY issue. Why don't you share those with us??? I'm getting sick inside from seeing that we turn a blind eye even to the most important issue: Ladonia is not a state, yet! It is still incorporated by the Swedes ( our country has not been recognized by them ). Secretary of State Lars Vilks is making a good job in proceeding with this question, but his job alone may not be enough! We, all Ladonians, have to help him hand-in-hand! We should stop fighting among us, and create our beloved Ladonia! I'm longing to read your reply and suggestions! Take care: Count Andras, Ambassador of Ladonia" And count Andras has had an answer from countess Kicki, Minister of Guardian Angels: "Ladonia is an eonatic nation, independant unpredictable, creative, incorruptible, with openness and tolerance as distinctive marks. Let time itself work." So say the Angels in Heaven and they also tell us that Ladonia as IDEA, serve the global goals for a dimensional uplifting of the democratic systems, so long sought for in our world. Be confident, and it will come. Ladonia needs a spiritul superstructure, and this will manifest itself to all the citizens including the cabinettmembers, in their thoughts, when everything is ready up there! This is not altogether without some design............................ Don´t be in a hurry, time will always take care of the development needed . A new word is being materialized in the upper frequencies....Waaaal Hear the sound through the worlds, divinely gifted. Countess Kicki von Hankell, Ministress of the Departement of The Guardian Angels, Eon in Waiting of The Queens Court, etc" COUP D'ÉTAT - UNPREDICTABLE OLSSON It is quite obvious that we need a DAY OF COUP D'ÉTAT in Ladonia. This day will be the 8th of August in commemoration of the actions taken by Sven Erik Olsson and Lord Zache on this very day. As is easy to understand it is not a question of a coup d'état in a rude fashion but rather a way of changing and understand some fundamental principles: "Lord Zache and myself recently made a reckon expedition to Ladonia in order to establish the scheme for the coup d´etat 8/8. We planted a tree (vårdträd) as a memory of the Tower of Winds. We also set up a civil guard made of three abandoned life vests, one at the border facing Arild and two more further down and closer to the swedish habitat. This week We notice that Europe is challenged by water, Ladonia by Fire. the Tower of Winds has fallen, so what is to become of Earth? We watch closely at the center, holding the fifth element Iron(y)against the hidden threats (x). Please make the appropriate changes. Best regards Sven-Erik Olsson Carrier of the Fundamentals" - Checking the objects made I can assure that they are there; the planted tree leaning disquieting among the stones perhaps telling us an allegory of great change. GÖREL THE PRIESTESS CONQUERING A NEW COLONY
The sunset on the 26th of July will always be remembered in Ladonian history. In a tremendous manner Görel the Priestess expanded Ladonian territory in proclaiming the shipwreck Benguela outside the island of Gotland in Sweden: "I hereby proudly announce that the Conquest Ceremony of Benguela North & South went exceptionally well. At sunset on the 26th of July Benguela Ladonia was officially opened as the embassy of Ladonia on Gotland. Performing the ceremony was the ambassadeur on Gotland, that is, me. Judicial representative from Sweden was Catrin Jönsson of Lund. An audience concisting of the local tribe of Klintehamn were breathtaken by the apparence of the ceremony mistresses in their fabulous red outfit with golden stars. It was a very touching moment, and our hearts leaped up as we performed the national anthem. The ceremony was followed by a spontaneous parade through the streets of Visby, were people we met did their best to join in on the hymn, though a bit backwards (throwing water on rocks instead of the opposite). Photos of the ceremony and of Benguela Ladonia is avaliable at: http://hem.passagen.se/gorel/benguela.htm WAAAAAAAAAAAAL! Görel the Priestess" ANOTHER LANDMARK OF LADONIAN IMPERIALISM: THE MOON Countess Kicki and Lord Peter just made a stunning visit to the USA. Among other things she could tell us about a successfull expansion of Ladonia into space, a part of the moon is now a part of Ladonia: "Our beloved country is expanding, we have Ladonian properties at the Jarl estate, on the island of Gotland, in Norway, (perhaps even on Mars) not to talk about the famous bathroom. As a birthdaygift we would like to incorporate a piece of the moon! At the Lunar Embassy located in Rio Vista, California there is a copy of the document proving that Ladonia is represented on the surface of the Moon. The original document will be brought over to the State Secretary at our next gathering. Binary copies will be made avalible for the next issue of the Ladonia Herald. >From the recognized authority of the Lighted Lunar Surface, the document mentioned represents the issuing of ten sercas (approx. 1.777,58 earth-acres), in the name of the Royal Republic Ladonia, on the Lighted Lunar Surface. The Lunar property is located at: Copernicus, Lat 12° N, Long 22°W, Area F-5, Quadrant I, Lot Nr 405. Carpe Nocte Minister of the Guardian Angels, Kicki Hankell Minister of the Sub Aquatica, Peter Kimay" MINISTERS MEETING AT THE EMBASSY IN WISCONSIN Two reports have come from the Wisonsin meeting: "Visiting at the Embassy of Wisconsin and enjoyed a wonderful lunch with the Ambassador. The Archangels have followed me and my daughter to this very interesting person, Countess Madeleine Glover and we have decided to conquer the two large rocks at Picnic Point in Lake Mendota. Unfortunately it rained too much, so the task will have to fall on the Ambassador Madeleine weather permitting. The official Embassy photographs have been taken, and will be avaiable soon. Humbly your servants Countess Kicki von Hankell, Minister of the Department of The Guardian Angels Lady Pia Persson of Ladonia Countess Madeleine, Ambassador to Wisconsin" "A confidential report from the Abassador of Ladonia to Wisconsin regarding the State Visit by Countess Kicki and Lady Pia: Two of the most delightful people presented themselves at the Embassy exactly at 12:30 p.m. Central Time USA. Countess Kicki brought the Embassy a lovely set of napkins purchased at Taliesin, the famous Frank Lloyd Wright estate in Spring Green, WI, with wrightesque motifs. After signing the Guest Book, the Official Embassy Photos were taken and a luncheon followed consisting of cream of carrot soup with croutons, shrimp remoulade on a bed of lettuce a la Countess Madeleine, lemon ice cream, pink lemonade, and coffee. Another photo session was held at the main entrance of the Embassy upon the guests' departure. The scheduled joint take-over of the Big Rocks located at the end of Picnic Point in Lake Mendota by Ladonia has been postponed due to inclement weather and will resume at a future date. It was my privilege to meet and welcome two such examplary Noble Ladies of Ladonia who were bringing kind greetings from my fellow Cabinet Members in Sweden and environs. Countess Kicki and Lady Pia have acquainted me in detail with your magnificent sculpture, its current owner and the controversy surrounding its location. We have discussed the feasability of a collection box placed near the artistic work for visitors to drop donations in as a sign of appreciation to be allowed to view the sculpture. Your Servant, Countess Madeleine, Ambassador of Ladonia Minister of Tennis and Figure Skating" |
LADONIA HYMN Countess Madeleine has also made a valuable contribution to Ladonian nationalism by sending us this solemn hymn: "Te cano, Patria Candida, libera, Te referet. partus et exulum Et tumulus senum; Libera montium Vox resonet."
'My country, 'tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, Land of the pilgrims' pride, >From every mountain side Let freedom ring.' |
CROSSING THE OCEAN: MINISTER OF THE SEVEN SEAS Winning great honour for Ladonia, Morgan Ekström-Ahlby gives a message from his voyage in the Atlantic Ocean: "Concerning the intelligence operations of s/y Arrandir - The Ladonia fleet. Arrandir is currently positioned on the north american continent, loaded onto a trailer heading due north. Here comes a report from the comanding officer. I am afraid not much substantial work has been done. During this cruise in foreign waters I have been concentrating on creating an undercover identity (a legend as it is commonly known in this kind of operations). I am thoroughly convinced that the power of a small fleet lies in surveilance and intelligence gathering as opposed to pure weaponry. On my own initiative I am pursuing three issues aimed at strenghtening the integraty of Ladonias most outer and remote salt water naval borders. 1) I am involved in informal and discrete soundings concerning possible treaties with other powers on the globe, both national and individual since I foresee the fall of big nations and the uprising of small nations through individual efforts. 2) I explore uninhabitad islands in search of new colonies for the inevitably expanding Ladonian nation. 3) I pursue the object of receiving as many dinner invitations as possible. It is in this third issue that there has risen some difficulties that needs immediate action. It is concerning my title... or rather the lack of it. Representatives from foreign powers get confused since they see and aknowledge my apparent importantness but do not know how to adress me properly. Although I lack funds to buy a title I sugest this severe matter is solved without the beurocracy of financial actions and I be known henceforth as: the admiral of overseas naval intelligence targeting operations in salt water. Concerning issues 1 and 2 no apparent progress has been made. Anyone taking further intrest in the undercover operations of Arrandir: please see; http://www.grouptech.se/arrandir www.grouptech.se/arrandir Government of Ladonia Concerning future government of Ladonia Seeing as I travel the failure of existing political systems when it comes to create happy individuals I suggest a new form of government for Ladonia: DEMOCRATIC DICTATORSHIP. In each single question facing the state I suggest that one of the inhabitants are randomly choosen to rule with soverignity in that single question. Next question is dealt with by another randomly choosen citizen. If no action has been taken within a certain time the issue is handed on randomly. The choosen citizen may if he wishes humbly step aside and hand down a question until it reaches someone who thinks him or herself suitable to deal with the question. All decisions that concern practical action are only valid when taken care of by the actual decisionmaker." A JAZZ CONCERT IN LADONIA Our excellent minister of Jazz Margareta Granvik arranged the ladonia (jazz) festival on Sunday 27th. It was a varieted program with some jazz classics like "Down by the riverside" and "Bye bye blackbird" but also pieces by Bach and flamenco. Jeanette Sollén, Marianne Racine, Kajsa Åström and Jazz Minister Margareta Granvik was singing with some help from Jan Zedenius. Dan Jensen was playing Digeridoo, Brain Minister Tiit Mathiesen playing the Saxofon and guitar by Nicolas Rodrigues. A new composition finished the program: "To the Thuban Human Being" by Minister of Health Toomas Mathiesen. It was played by our minister of brain. A tremendous day with a large audience on the shore of Ladonia. We now have a tradition: Last Sunday in July, always musical program in Ladonia. LADONIAN ASTRONAUT: COUNT TORBY INTO SPACE The landing on Mars, the Ladonian colony on the moon; a spaceprogram is needed in Ladonia. Count Torby, Minister of History, has volunteered as being our first astronaut. The space shuttle will start from Farstuhalet launching pad. And the Minister of History will be historical. CHURCH MINISTER CONFESSING COW-KILLING His worship the Minister of Church, Ingemar Nilsson, has made an astonishing confession. He didn't say when, but he killed a cow by starving it to death trying to save some money on feed. The minister is eager to point out a positive sense moral of the action: If we do not feed God with enough and probably expensive food he will die as well. NEW DAYS IN THE LADONIAN CALENDER January 1: Propaganda Day. A day when personal- and institutional aggrandizement is encouraged, and name calling (with impunity) is tacitly condoned. Take the opportunity to air your sublimated torment, disgust, scorn, ribaldry and aggression in a ritualized atmosphere designed to effect the least bodily harm on the focus of your attention. Trond Ivar Hansen has given us these days: February 13: Day of throwing keys. Keys should be thrown in the sea or in a well or something like that. Dresden was bombed that day. July 4: Naked Day. This day Ladonians goes without clothes; also allegorically: being naked, taken with the pants down. December 26: Stealing Day. A good day to steal as it is dark and most places are filled with nice gifts. LORD SIG WHIG AND CHEZ LE SCREEMING BASS Here we go right into an interesting conversation with Lord Sig Whig and the pub i Ladonia. One should observe the magnificient language in the perpendicular style of Lord Sig Whig: "By the way, why did you, best lord Sighwig, draw a simulacrum to the ancient confederate flag? Ah--as we said--it isn't our fault at all. And again, where is the Chez le Screeming Bass situated? Next time you approach Wotan City, shut your ears and nose for the unmistakable auditory and olfactory trauma caused by that pub. The spelling of "screeming" is a local colloquial tradition. Lord Sigwhig Greetings to y'a..buuurp." WORLD CUP IN SOCCER - APPROVED ACHIEVEMENT FOR LADONIA Ladonia World Cup is over, a grand adventure that began on the 1st oif May and ended on the 24th of August. Ladonia qualified for the quarter finale but lost against Holland 1-2. Holland than beat Germany 2-1 and meet in the finale Romania that wiped out Denmark 5-0 and Mexico 2-1. The world cup finale was played between Romania and Holland. Holland started out very good and was soon in the lead 2-0. A penalty for Romania made the result 2-1 in half time. The equalizer came soon and suddenly it was 2-2. Another goal in the 86th minute of Kluiver who made a hat tric settled this world cup: Romania-Holland 2-3 Holland winner of world cup. (and we must remember that the Ladonian team is among the 8 best teams in the world.) Still we have to admit mistakes. A critical and professional voice was heard from our minister Umberto Saccomandi (and right he was): "I am terribly disappointed by the team you formed for Ladonia. Let's have a closer look: Schmeichel - OK Maldini - well, he actually plays as left winger, not right. Kelly - no one named Kelly can be a good international Dunga - we are keen to throw him away from the brazilian side... Summor - waaaaallll... Nadal - nothing against spanish football, but it would be nothing without foreigners Ronaldo - OK Kovacs - hummmm... Juninho - he just formed once at the brazilian side to be sold to a rich european club Shearer - England's contribution to soccer stopped with the invention of the game Mykland - who???? Let's hope for the best. Count Humberto von Saccomandi" But we learn to play the real games. The result is an upsurge of nationalism and identity fixation, globalization of markets exacerbates the economic and social dysfunctions brought about by the crisis of what Etienne Balibar calls "the national social state". Soccer thus being the tool to pronounce Ladonian awareness of the sopciety of information. |
A POEM BY CUSTODIAN JOHAN ANDERSSON Ladonia's great poet baron Johan Andersson in the Hillman group has composed a poem that might be a reflection of what suddenly can be seen - or it might be thoughts coming in the dark nights of late summer. The translation is not a part of the poem. Världen är stor (The world is great av gåtor (by riddles) jag går i natten (I walk in the night) Bakgårdar glänser (Backyards glitter i ljus (in light) som Du aldrig nämnt (which you never mentioned) Jag går i världen (I walk in the world) AN IMPORTANT SENTENCE FROM WIELAND A found and good piece of literature has been sent by Wieland Schwinger from Austria: "Gurkan hoppar over stock in i steakpannan" "The Cucumber jumps over the block into the frying pan" -- found on the whiteboard of the masters group room of IDA at HIS |
The Minister's contemplation begins in a garden with people watching the summernight sky. Step by step the minister of health reveals the secrets of universe... "At the end of one day I visited the Brain Minister in his garden. The sky was full of stars and on his garden table a few candle lanterns were burning. Evidently the Brain Minister and his Brain Wife, including some Brain Guests had finished supper after a successful day, and the Brain Child was finally asleep. The night was almost tropically warm. Also our Secretary of State was present, he was leaning back on his chair I would be supposed to say, at the far end of the table, but really the Brain family´s garden sofa, which is a bit dangerous and might tilt over, and called attention to Lagrimae Laurentii, the special August meteorite swarms around dies St Laurentius, diaconus et martyr, 10 augusti - maybe with special urgency and importance because the christian name of our Secretary is Laurentius as well in its latin form. Everybody saw the magnificient shooting stars, sometimes with tails of smoke, except the Brain Woman. But there are different brains, sky brains and earth brains for example. They offered me a very nice sweet wine, in rather judiciously small quantities so it must have been expensive, and it tasted like nectars of heaven, received by the great good fertile earth and ripened to maturity on a southerly slope somewhere and later in oak barrels one could presume. Well, as a countergesture I told the Brain Party that from now on the problem of free will of man could be solved thanks to recent experiments carried out by the Ministry of Health. The experiment is very simple. Take a dice, throw it, but have the outcome of the throw decided by the visualisation power of your mind or soul before the throw. Keep records. If you are not an entirely impossible fellow, you will rather soon start getting significant results. All cautions taken against bias, there will at first emerge a significant overall heterogeneity dismissing the acts of pure chance, and as you learn to know thyself along with these experiments, you will find a strong correlation between initial visualisation and the outcome at periods of good right feel of profound easy going self-evident inspiration - or just inspiration, but inspiration feels, and can be described exactly like different wines with all kinds of picturesque adjectives. This is also known as psychokinesis. When your mind moves, the world moves. And if you will the movement, then there is no question about free will any more. The problem vanishes, facts talk, there is a simple resolution of something that has kept philosophers busy for centuries. But the interesting thing is the fact, that at a statistically most significant level as well, Mother Nature immediately reverses any conspicuous runs of especially successful throws, with an equally astounding counter-sequence !! Not only the universe is alive, also numbers are. The normal distribution bell curve is a living thing. You tilt it one way, it tilts back, and not in a random manner, but immediately and decisevly (p-values .02 - .02 - .00000001 - .02 in four experiments on four different days). This is probably a good answer to the old mysterious 1/f - distribution, i.e. many more slow than fast fluctuations in nature make it appear structured and meaningful. Music too obeys this 1/f distribution, like for example our national anthem composed by myself - And also our alternative anthem, most striking thing one would think, the one throwing stones into Mare Ladonicum - if many people are participating, like at the concert in Ladonia last 27 July - yes indeed a beautiful example of the relationship between carefully composed music and apparently random events in nature - which thus are not entirely random at all. So much in return for a little glass of wine. I wish the whole world and all its peoples many more beautiful warm late summer nights. And if desired, much wine, love and gesang. But do not forget to regard the unfathomable deapths of the starry sky with your innate profound inner peace and wisdom." |
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© Copyright 1997 Lars Vilks and Arrive Inter Media
Created : 1997-09-01
