A WORD FROM THE STATE SECRETARY
Anyway we can show the Ladonia football dress, designed by Minister Count Riccard and Minister Carlos (who will threaten parts of the world this summer making his ”Carlos's Conquering Campaign (CCC)” – for new Ladonia colonies. After all there is always the philosophical way: play pegball: http://www.pegball.com (. Note in particular the educational value of the behaviour of the goalies--they just don't do something -- they stand there (at least in the me vs computer version). Three tangents, three digits to move, no hand movements, just those three digits on your right hand and you're free to use your left hand to the most sensible thing in the world meanwhile, like lifting of that pint of draft to your lips. A game for the bar I say. No sweat, no foul odor. LSW)
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The numbers of citizens is continuing to grow rapidly. Ladonia now has 6.800 citizens. We especially welcome people from Poland and Mexico that lately have dominated the immigration.
Here is an example of a forceful statement:
”The litmus test of any credible government is its degree of contradictory statements, evasiveness, foul play and, at times, foul smell. How often do we not overlook this simple rule of thumb. For all this eonism, not to mention communism, we tend to forget the basics of
all politics; its unpredictability, its fundamental character of incredulity and bribability! Yes, Ladonia is in dire need of a shake-up, an awkening of our spirits. So let us, whistling on a merry melody and singing on our anthem walk the still unbeaten path of utter confusion, instability and neglect! Let's keep our Ladonian spirit high by pouring spirits down and forget forever our strained relations with Denmark, the Tonga Islands and Kyrgyzstan, where-ever they are! Let us unite in a moral cohesiveness of re-eradicated moral, dissipated
communication and a total non-responsiveness in a joint defense for our life-style of fundamental sloppiness. Let us all agree on doing less. Much less. And to do that more often, much mor often. Let us see past to-days feelings of impending doom and look beyond to our common destiny! Let us all sit down, yes, lay down, turn around and fall asleep again as it bestows our nation of latter days slobs. May we devote less and less time to laborious undertakings like governing an unwilling herd of confused citizens, let's join in and partake at the confusion! So, Ladonians, again I say: Verily, verily do less and less and do it much more frequently. Save on energy, save lethargy!
From the inner recesses of the pub Chez Le Screemin Bass*,”
- Says Lord Sigwhig (Minister of Idleness)
*The legendary Ladonian bar at the Tower of the Winds.
About Bribes:
Peter Lundgren (Minister of Constant Revolution) do not take bribes, Fredrik Larsson is open for them. Says Mr Larsson: ”bribes are definitely accepted in the Ministry of Art & Jump. Our's is not the type of ministry that feel humble at all of some…etc etc.” (Note the change of The Ministry of Art to ”The Ministry of Art & Jump”. Watch out for the eternal (together with Countess Madeleine, minister of tennis and figure scating, he is the eternal content in the cabinet) Fredrik; he will jump for freedom, into water with clothes. Everywhere, or at least, at many places.
Ministry of Zen - "the arts of being directly aware of the given facts of our existence are almost completely ignored....but there is always money for and doctorates in the learned foolery of who influenced who to say what when... If we are to remain sane we cannot possibily do without direct experience of the inner and outer worlds into which we have been born - the more unsystamatic the better... This given reality is an infinite which passes all understanding and yet admits of being directly and in some sort totally apprehended. It is a transcendence belonging to another order than the human and yet it may be present to us as a felt immanence - and experienced participation"
Aldous Huxley
The Doors of Perception
Do not drink more than one bottle of red wine while reading the above
ÿpwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll
VIVA LADONIA
Tim Neale
Minister of Zen
Sheriff de Nada
Concerning the number of ministers:
It isn´t that I don´t like ladonian ministers. I´m just curious about how many we have right now. And, if all ladonians are ministers, who are we to rule? Really an interesting developement... Anyway is there any sense in ruling anybody? Today it seems the rulers of this world, whoever they may be, is ruling (or maybe just drooling) just for power. Not for the benefit of all mankind. They seem incabable to rule themselves, so how can the rule over anything? To rule, is by nature to seek power, and to achieve this you talk a lot of sweet words - like right now in or archenemy-country, Sweden. There´s gonna be an election you see. And I have not heard so much foolishness in years.
In older times, ruling was somewhat a more honest business. You did´nt hide behind lies. You wrestled the power by force.
Yes, yes, today nobody would accept that. Would be too hazardous. Thinking of the weapons we posess today. So, I propose that we rule over nobody, and have no rulers at all. But kings, or jarls, who could preside at nice parties and such. Just for the fun of it. And is there a minister of common sense? That could be useful. And unfortunately we might need a law enforcement corps. Considering the human weaknesses we all posess. Some people in this world actually goes whacko and must be stopped. Hmm...A little philosophical problem this. A pity our minister of sophistry, the worthy Horatius, has resigned. He might have some ideas.
Innocue vivito, numen adest.
Count Torby, Minister of History, etc, etc and ÿp to you all
And here is a good piece of discussion concerning the nature of Swedes (according to the constitution they have to step aside when meeting a Ladonian):
Count Riccard (minister of herpetology):
”I must say, that I still havent understood why Swedes are seen like inferior than the rest of the world in Ladonia!?”
Lord Sigwhig (Minister of Idleness):
”It's somewhat embarrassing to even have to argue this case. You are a Ladonian OR you are a Swede, right? Now, IF, I say, IF Swedes ARE in fact inferior, hypothetically I mean, what you going to do about it? See?! But let's be honest. Let's leave political correctness aside and
face Ladonian Reality and ask yourself: What have Swedes done to justify their immanence? Not much. Endless garrulous outbreaks over the very existence of our great erections (we have in fact far greater erections than they ever will have) is what we have had to put up with.
A pole in the eye of them is Wotan, Nimis and Omphalos! And let me confide this to you eye to eye: Have you never ever had that little, vague but irritating olfactory experience that makes socializing with Swedes so difficult? Haven't you taken one step back overwhelmed
sometimes by that nauseous ... odor. In all candor, most Swedes SMELL! Yup. Now that it is said you may wonder why ex-Swedes, we expatriots, the bravadoes in exile, don't smell, right? That's our secret! OK we don't smell and that's why we are superior and they are inferior.
That's why we are Ladonians -- free, proud, interactive and free from that filthy smell of industriousness! See why we have to set up rules in order to make our encounters with Swedes in Ladonia as friction-free as possible. What if you one day find yourself eye to eye with a visiting Swede who thinks he is your equal???! Scaring, isn't it!! Imagine how absurd situations would occur time and again. No, no ,no. We cannot, we must not yield to innernational pressure and sell out the core of our beliefs, customs and cherished life-style. Let the world, which doesn't have to live with borders on three sides with them, go on
smearing us for clamping our noses shut when we encounter Swedes. Let us continue and look down on them, let's defend our Ladonian values and demand that Swedes, as before, shut up when Ladonians speak, step aside when we approach and piss off when we say so. It's a question of attitude. You follow?
Do less. Move less. Think less if possible.
Will the monkey business create more disturbance in the cabinet?
As we already have reported the discussion about ”spanking a monkey” made our dear minister Horatius to resign, claiming that the level of discussion had gone beyond what was acceptable. The discussion had been renewed by some of the ministers in the cabinet; ministers again talking about resigning. I am not sure what the discussion is about, to the spanking of the monkeys have added a possible spanking of penguins (and to fully understand this you should use this link http://www.sillygirl.com/cinema.php?PSerial=170)
At first one could understand the topic as symbolic, but real animals have been mentionend, e. g. spanking penguins in Ladonian hypothetical arctic colonies (or, it could be that some of the ministers living far from Ladonia, has taken it for granted that Ladonia is an arctic country as it is situated in the north of Europe.
(Please say nothing bad about the Penguins, as that is my nickname: Penguin; and no it is not because I am rotund. However, I feel they would make good doormen at any Ladoian Embassys we may wish to open in a cold environment. They are dressed rather nice. I like the Emporer's for the job, but they seem to have an "attitude".) – says Placito Miceli Jr, Minister of Assurance
National Day and Hannibal and elephants
The Ladonian National Day is the 2nd of June. The traditional way of celebrating is the parade of Hannibalian Elephants. Those famous elephants brought by Hannibal from Spain crossing the Alps into Italy. Only one arrived safely. It has been said that these elephants died in the mountains. A new theory says that they continued north and started a prosperous life in Ladonia. Otherwise it should be difficult to explain why Ladonia has such a good supply of this unlikely animal.
 Marquis James Hartmann (minister of future science) made this nice shot from the celebrations on the 2nd of June) |
Visit the new country Elcano, created by the argentinian
http://elcano.8k.com/
ladonia is not a country and not a part of sweden. It is a fraud and a method of getting money from innocent people around the world. I want to know what are you, which your ruler and position in UNO.” – Says Hafiz Zubair from Lahore in Pakistan.
A portuguese website has also spread the rumour of greedy Ladonia:
http://www.ladonegro.net/politica.html
Ladonia has a good supply of knowledge in portuguese (Don’t you ever try to speak spanish to a Portuguese, our minister Betsy Thaggard did it once and still remembers it with fright), and honourable State Graphic Vera Porad Falk wrote them immediately. She very soon recieved a polite answer from the administrators of the ”Lado Negro”- website where they apologized, told they had changed the text and also used the opportunity to express their admiration for Lars Vilks and his imaginative and creative artwork.
”I propose a way of pronounce "ÿp" so there won´t be any confusion as with WAAALLL:
---just like a hiccup--- a sound that comes from the interior of the body, from the deepest part of the human being.... of course not as trascendent as a belching.”
 The first half of the Ladonian dictionnary by Count Riccard |
 The surprising find of the USA 8 cm Omfalos. |
I am starting the creation of the Royal Ladonian Army (except the navy) in which I will be its General. My nobility is accepted as a Ladonian one.
I am also announcing the creation of the Ladonian Conservative Party as well as the
Ladonian Legion D'Honneur Order.
Yours faithfully, deseando que se haya encontrado bien en mi hermosa tierra,
Ilustre Señor Don FJLD, Hidalgo de España
Lilia Medina López de Mexico:
”Contribuir en un pais soñado por todos que no exista violencia, que no exista hambre, que no exista pobreza, que se viva con paz y con toda la confianza en nuestros ciudadanos, mi contribución esta en apoyar esta forma de pensar.”
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
(quotation of Einstein by Mike Arman, Minister of Finance)
Our so dear minister of Poke Sallet and also the empress of the universe, Betsy Thaggard is caught in a tender moment with Robert.
A word from our Minister of Health
We are living in exiting times. The Ladonian National Football Team is undertaking an undercover operation in the World Championship in the Far Away East, and very successfully, one favourite after another have been sent home, "prematurely" as the experts would agree. Now you might get the impression that your loved Minister of Health, Doktor Emanuel von Bock is operating behind the mask the Miracle Man, Svennis, leading the British team - and although the said Svennis now looks to be very close to a veritable Ascension into the heavens, as a Saviour in Our Times, it isn't quite so. Doktor Bock, here at the keyboard, has an appointment with the King of Norway, about to visit Narvik today, where Dr Bock has been invited to work at their hospital especially because of the 100 years anniversary of this important city - this very day today - in the Present Moment - our tool for transformation, where we have the possibility to build souls out of our minds. That is a worth while endeavour, and the Ministry of Health is going to accept selected pupils as of July 1 this year. Applications may be sent to the ministry. Now it is press stop and the King is already waiting - unfortunately i must leave you, all peoples of the world, until next time, sincerely yours Doktor Bock.
PRESS STOP-PRESS STOP-PRESS STOP: I had the clear impression the Norwegian King also wished to add His Greetings to All Peoples in the World, hereby mentioned by your humble servant. And yet another cheer for the Ladonian Undercover World Championship Football Team. The King was very intrigued about our undertakings in this matter, as well as about the Ministry's plans for the new superior intelligent, deep feeling, and in every way beautiful human race, Homo Thubaniensis, to be designed in different skin colours, and to appear at the climax of our ongoing 20 000 years feast. Those would be Kings, truly, and Queens, the King commented.
Emanuel von Bock, Minister of Health in Ladonia