Ladonia Herald issue 54, August 2002

54rd issue, August 2002

LADONIA GOVERNMENT - A WORLD GOVERNMENT

Due to the last months expansive developement in Ladonia it is obvious that the country is the only one in the world with a government representing large parts of the world. Our ministers and cabinet members is situated in Argentina, Brazil, USA, Canada, Portugal, Spain, France, England, Holland, Norway, Sweden, Turkey, Russia. It might not look too impressive as the world consists of many countries but compare it to other nations… Not only is the government representing large areas of the world, so is also our citizens. The growth of population is breaking all records as you can see in the graph.

Ladonia citizens 1996 - 2002

NEW HOUSING FOR THE LADONIA ADMINISTRATION

The Model Marquis, constructed by Minister James Hartmann

THE DRAGON FLYERS

"Is it a plane? Is it a bird? Is it a superman?" "No, it's a Ladonian dragonfly!!"

The developement of the Ladonian Dragonfly can be seen in the pictures below.

The original vessel, (Minister Fredrik Larsson)

The original vessel with mutants,
(Minister James Hartmann)

Pilot flying mutant, (Minister Andrez Suarez)

Mutant aircraft attacking a typical Swede,
(Minister James Hartmann)

THE CORRECT PERFORMANCE OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

The Ladonia National Anthem is performed when throwing a stone into water. To establish a more geniune form the cabinet has found that the correct way is to use a green stone. There are two accepted green stones, the Ladonian Granite, discover by Minister Pablo Linares: "I found the Verde Ladonian Granite!!!"

http://stonesunlimited.com/item/2600.htm

If you by some reason don't want to use the Ladonian Granite, you can use the green stone from space found by minister James Hartman.

The green stone from space.

THE THIRD WORD - IS IT NECESSARY?

Heavy debate about the possible need for a third word in Ladonian language. We have the two Ladonian words "waaaall" and "ÿP". They are frequently used and causes no understanding problems between Ladonians. In order to learn the Ladonian language you should start by learning "waaaaaaaalll" as it is the most tricky; it can be spelt in different ways. The next step is the "ÿP". It can all be done in around 10 seconds. A man from Wales, visiting Ladonia, made it, so it can't be too difficult. But, Ladonian has become a binary language which seems suspicious and the cabinet has lately discussed several proposals for the third word. "ovo" has been discussed, as well as "h?". The problem is still not solved. Or as expressed in the discussion by Lord Sigwhig, minister of idleness:

"The general sentiment in the pub is negative to integrating OVO in the Ladonian glossary, since it MEANS something (egg or grape?), a rather strong argument it is felt.

Minister of Madness had found this (which would mean silence with French pronociation and probably correctly spelled <'h?> and then only used for interrogative purposes, meaning e. g. "Are you or are you not a Swede?"), if we at all need a third word--the case isn't very strong so far, particularly considering the threat of widening our jelously guarded narrow mental horizons.

Almost done through the first bitter…"

Another solution has been brought forward by Wenche Blomberg, minister of madness:

"I don´t like the idea of more Ladonian words, as I said last night. But I fully approve the idea of every Ladonian making her OWN words when needed (privately), the more, the better. This is also known as GLOSSOLALIA, a worthy expression of madness. I know of a Swiss scholar who truly believes that this kind of language can be scientifically understood and is building his academic career upon that suggestion."

SURPRISING DIVE OF MINISTER FROM ARGENTINA

Pablo Linares, MINISTRY OF UNDERWATER RELATIONS THOUGH NOT THOSE COVERED BY THE MINISTRY OF SUBAQUATIC TERRITORIES, has made a dive in Argentina. When back in the boat he is surrounded by a landscape including Wotan's Tower and Arx.

Minister Pablo coming up from the water

DAY OF MADNESS

I propose we make December 21 to the Day of half madness and roaring with wolves, and June 21 the Day of full madness and insomnia (all diagnoses will be celebrated). These days the Ministry of Madness will be closed.

Widow Countess
Wenche von Blomberg u. Grünerløkka
Minister of Madness

LADONIA COURT

In order to simplify the court system the cabinet is in favor of the yellow card to be shown when necessary. Two cards and you are out of Ladonia. To avoid involving to many people the cards will be handled by the bartender in the famous Ladonian bar: Chez Le Screemin' Bass. The yellow card is much larger than the ones e. g. handled by the referee in a soccer game. On the card you can read the Ladonian expression "ÿP ÿP". The bartender, when showing the card, will be "referee as judge" or "judge as referee".

The state secretary demonstrating the yellow card

THE NORDIC ENEMIES OR WHO ARE THE SWEDES?

(A report from James Hartmann, minister of future science)

This description of the Ladonia enemy, the Swedes, was found by the minister. The expression "Nordic" is used but no doubt it is about Swedes. It might be possible to find a few Norwegians of the same sort, but such specimens should be rare:

"Reported mostly in the 1950s and 60s but declining steadily in reports after that, the Nordics get their name from their appearance. They tend to look like blond haired, blue-eyed, light-skinned men and women in excellent physical condition who wear clothing similar to that of humans. Their nature has often been called "catlike" because they move with great agility and seem to have superior strength and dexterity. Usually six to seven feet tall, they tend to be very imposing and many reports show them to have certain psychic powers. The most common of these seems to be a form of telepathic suggestion, wherein the witnesses actually have a conversation with the Nordic but don't seem to remember the alien actually "saying" anything. The overall behavior of the Nordic aliens tends to be almost informal. Most encounters with these beings tend to take place in rural towns or on highways in areas with low populations. Their conversations with humans tend to be deceptive and with no real point, yet those contacted by them don't seem to realize this until long after the contact has taken place. Few cases of Nordic contact seem to involve abductions or experimentations."

Obviously a few things have change since this was written. The Swedes are no more "catlike", today they are fat, especially in the middle of their body. The psychic power of the Swedes is what you could call bureaucratic stiffness, even when they have a hopeless case they will keep on with it to the bitter end. The "telepathic suggestion" is nothing but their famous silence. They have nothing to say but they look like they had. The description of their communication is correct. They normally have no point in what they are trying to say.

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/3294/rogue.html

Minister James concludes: "If you see a Nordic you might teach them Ladonian. Waaaaallll & ÿP. They look like Humans!!! So it should not be to hard to spot them."

ADMIRAL SCHWARZ

(Royal Ladonian CoastGuard)
Admiral Schwarz gives this report from his mission around Seattle:

"Dear State Secr. Vilks and Sr. Admiral Hartman,

It is with great honor and pride that I accept the 7000th citizenship of Ladonia and my appointment as Royal Ladonian Coast Guard Admiral of Nautical Discovery (and Land Acquisition). Myself and my sturdy vessel are at your disposal and await your direction.

I will be departing shortly with RLCG sailing vessel 'Desire' for a 2-3 day trip in the waters around Seattle. This will be a prelude to my expected departure out into the Pacific in about six weeks. During this time I will scout out and claim any suitable land for Ladonia. The closest and most suitable acquisition would be Blake Island.

"Blake Island State Park is a 475-acre marine camping park with five miles of saltwater beach shoreline providing magnificent views of the Olympic Mountains and the Seattle skyline. The park is only reachable by tour boat or private boat. Indian-style salmon dinners and demonstrations of Northwest Indian dancing are offered at Tillicum Village, a concession on the island. " http://www.parks.wa.gov/parkpage.asp?selectedpark=Blake%20Island&pageno=1

I will make a pact with the local Indians and claim the island in the name of Ladonia.

Long live Ladonia!

~RLCG Admiral Schwarz"

FROM THE MINISTRY OF VAMPIRE AFFAIRS

Jamie Morris, Minister of all Vampire Affairs (Bram Stoker and otherwise):

"Well thanks to the Minister of Avatars for pointing out something I was afraid might make me look like a raving loony. There are many definitions of the word vampire, ranging from Bram Stoker's wonderful portrayal to the less accepted version that children are Vampires - leeching money, time and effort from their parents.

What I pointed out was just the "modern" vampire. None of this center parting hair stuff for them. Nosiree. Your average modern vampire "should" fit the description given, however many other forms exist.

And of course the Ministry of Vamp Aff would be willing to represent every class. If you feel up to calling yourself a vampire, by all means, do so, and the Ministry will fight for your rights too.

If you want a technical definition of why vampires are sensitive to sunlight, I don't know, but I'll make something up on the spot:

"The radiation from the sun effects vampires like a speedy sunburn - killing cells and causing a form of skin cancer that kills very quickly. This is because of the lack of "living" blood to protect the vampire. So obviously a vampire who has just drank some blood will be "slightly" more resistant to sunlight than one who has been starved for days."

One question remains to be answered though - how does diplomatic immunity apply to vampires? Do we get the same benefits or is there smallprint?"

CARLOS CONQUERING CAMPAIGNE

Being an ambitious country, the expansion of Ladonia is without limits. Conquering new areas is Carlos André's (Minister of the Dark Side) unusual tour in Europa this summer. Parts of Europa will, no doubt, be claimed Ladonian territory. It is a dark, but very friendly activity.

The poster to be seen all of Europa:
Carlos Conquering Campaigne

A JUMP FOR FREEDOM

Minister of Art and Jump, Fredrik Larsson, has started his jumping tour. In the true spirit of a Ladonian Minister he jumps into water wearing his flamboyant suit and hat.

A jump for freedom

MINISTER OF FINANCE

The further developement of Ladonia Finance can be followed in this interesting report on the Ladonia bank account by the Minister of Finance, Mike Arman:

"Incidentally, there are three reasons that no State funds of Ladonia were used to research the restaurant menu issue.

First, the Official Ladonian Debit card has not been issued yet because the Ladonian National Treasury has not been placed in a bank yet, and is currently being guarded by the dragon Ladon. Your Minister of Finance repeats his offer to open a real bank account for Ladonia's national store in a real bank, and the name on the account will be "National Treasury of Ladonia" or similar (can you see the expression on the face of someone who gets one of these checks?). The existence of the bank account will allow the Ladonian National Store to accept Paypal for the sales of merchandise, and thus solve the currency conversion problem of foreign currencies into Oertungs.

Second, since the Nation of Ladonia does not have a bank account, it also cannot hold an American Express card - and your Finance Minister has developed a sure-fire way to avoid food poisoning in unfamiliar restaurants.

"If the restaurant you are considering does not take American Express, you do not want to eat there." This has worked for me all over the world.

The third reason is this - Your Minister of Finance did not take the position for a free meal or two! This would be unethical.

The Minister of Finance uses his own American Express card to avoid food poisoning."

NUMBERPLATES

No cars has yet been driving in Ladonia. But when and if they a going to, the plates are ready. One can turn this around: When you got the plates you need the cars. When you need the cars you have to build a highway. So we are beginning building the highway between Nimis and Omfalos (the center of the world).

Numberplate

Frontpage | Back Issues

CONTACT INFORMATION

Please, send Corrections to the .

You can send us e-mail or use the adress below.

Vera Porad Falk, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia