62nd issue, July 2003
LADONIA AT WAR
Preparation for the full-scale war against Sweden is following our plans. The declaration of war will be made official at the castle of Christinehof in the south of Sweden on the 5th of July.
LADONIA AT WAR II
As we now are into war it seemed natural to expand the war sector by also starting a war against the USA. We are sure that they have weapons of mass destructions. And we cannot rest with the fact that the USA government might have good intentions. Ladonia has several ministers living in the US, so we are already inside. As Walter Ehresman, minister of dubious anthems says:
“I have worked the last 11 years as an attorney for the State of Texas environmental agency, trying to enforce environmental laws, and I can tell you from first-hand experience that the dominant ethic of the Texas mindset (under the stated guise of "property rights") can be stated like this: "I can do whatever I want on my property, but I expect the state to prevent my neighbors from doing anything much at all on theirs." The political system here is completely corrupted by the money poured into perpetuating this way of thinking. It is a complete anathema to the idea of the "social contract".....or any idea of community. This is the ethic that Bush deeply embraces (when he was Texas governor, he immediately instituted a program at our agency of "voluntary compliance" with environmental laws), and one that he and his cronies in the ultra-rich are driving headlong into creating for the US at large. To all you ministers living outside the US, understand this: the Texas/Bush mindset sees you as either a resource to be exploited or an obstacle to be removed. You aren't from here, and they feel no kinship to you whatsoever. While it is true that many Americans would not treat you this way in one-on-one interactions, those same Americans will consistently vote for people who adopt those policies. This is the sad fact.”
 Dragonfly in Argentina before launching. |
 Micro missiles. |
Most of our dragonfly force, air/ear micro missiles are fired by regular size dragonflies. They will cause intense ear pain on Swedes
Ladonia will export them some ear analgesic with high hypnotic effects. Then, we have the victory, just initiate the occupation when they sleep.
You can find pictures of the dragonflies as well as pictures of the ministers on http://ladonia.aymnet.com
ÿp!
Extraordinary finding in Wartime!
Our old Ladonian Battleaxe has been recovered, but in a terrible state. All rusty, beat up and sawed in half!!!! A little rust will wear off pretty soon but it seems the Ladonian Battleaxe has been sabotaged! This is outrageous! It's probably Swedish undercover agents, or by dirty Swedish lawyers (liars) that is trying to break the Ladonian war spirit. But rest assure the Battleaxe will be fixed, mended and sharpened till the War start at July 5:th at Christinehofs Castle!
The Ladonian Battleaxe will soon swing again.
ÿP! ÿP!
 Battleaxe found by minister Fredrik Larsson. |
Here is a photo of me performing the Ladonian National Anthem at Portage Lake in Alaska, USA. There’s Portage Glacier in the background. It was a cool and windy day; the scenery reminded me of Norway. I can also imagine that the liquid ethane oceans of Titan may look something like this, only everything would be orange and red.
 National Anthem performed at Portage Lake in Alaska. |
I have written and recorded a new anthem, posted on the site: "She
Rises from Nimis: The Queen's Anthem--a Symphony for Orchestra,
Stone Cat, Fjord Pygmy Elephant, and Barnyard Animals."
This anthem can be heard at our exhibition in Christinehof.
Here is also the comment from the royal court:
Dear Walter,
now holder of the title: Official Composer of Dubious Anthems of the Queen’s Court of Ladonia.
The Queen is deeply moved by such devotion to the Ladonian Muse of Music. In fact, all members of the royal family were gathered to listen to the anthem, and were struck by aw. No doubt, the picture of the Queen rising in this golden cloud, surrounded by the ceremonial animals, is immediately mediated through the anthem. No need for a film to accompany it. But the Queen will gladly contribute with a picture of herself, the water dragon, or even a short film, rising as the Water Dragon Queen out of bathing foam in her jacuzzi, that can be animated as a golden cloud. May we ask for pictures of the ceremonial animals to accompany the Queen? And do we have a candidate for production of the film?
Now, here’s something for our dear minister of Future and Science to get the chills about.
Fact 1. The Queen is a fond lover of cats and elephants, and has at least in the past been holding a stock of barnyard animals, including old, nearly extinct breeds of Mountain cow, horned Gute sheep, Linderöds pig, Scanian goose, dwarf hen and leghorn, Gotland rabbit and Mysk ducks. They would all be included among the ceremonial barnyard animals.
Fact 2. Long before Ladonia was declared a nation and the Queen was elected, the Queen (then a common citizen of Sweden) together with her husband and her oldest son (now the Jarl of Far Ladonia and Prince Bertil), travelled to the shores of Ladonia (then a mere pile of stones and magnificent rocks and two magic sculptures), to spread the ashes of her first born daughter, Eonatic Princess Jenny, in the sea. The sea was named Mare Jenny long before the Queen was even a citizen of Ladonia.
Best whishes for the move Walter and
Omnia Vincit Amor
The Queen and her family
You can check it out under the address www.fredriklarsson.se
I asked the JD how things had been going for him lately. He pointed to the impossible, spindly trees and said, "Look at those things, will ya? They're there, ain't they? Ain't they alive?" I agreed that they were. "So why ain't there some reporters here talkin' on TV about them?" I sensed he had something else on his mind. I asked if he felt a bit ignored of late. "Damm right I am! I can't even buy a press agent in this state!" I assured him that in Ladonia the "Rights of the Unlikely" are respected and told him about Ladon, for whom our nation is named. The Jersey Devil cheered up at that and offered a gracious welcome to any Ladonian who might visit his Pine Barrens. He recomends a four-wheeler for the sand roads in the Barrens and reminds travelers that most existing maps are useless. "When you're here," he said,"your own instincts are your best guide." Then he casually eyed a man fishing from the shore and said,"Plus, there's great Italian food anyplace you get to down here."
Respectfully,
Lisa
Minister for Mythological Beasts
And Lisa has more to report:
No sign of enemy activity on or near our newly conquered Ladonia sandstone in the riverbed behind my house. There has been a lot of rain recently so it is now submerged. If I, or any of the water sprites, detect any scuba or submarine incursions, I will of course alert our Minister of Underwater Relations as well as the War Department.
Long live Ladonia!
--Lisa, Minister for Mythological Beasts
Commander of the 7th ASD*
We’ve been busy celebrating it here at the palace, the flag was hoisted and flown accompanied by the new fantastic anthem for the Queen – even the cats stopped to listen, a bit tense though. We indulged in nationalism by playing the national anthem in a half litre stainless steel jug (adding a “pling” to the “splash”), out of respect for the minidragons swimming around in our little pond. (We don’t want to awaken the minidragons yet, they may come in handy at an attack against Sweden). For food we have been eating anything green, like chives pie or rhubarb soup (and in commemoration of the discovery of Prince Linus Foam Dream Island we added a spoonful of vanilla icecream to the hot soup).
To you Ladonians in the countries where the sun sets, have a great evening.
Remember, this is a day of celebration, not grudginess, unless grudge is your way of celebrating.
Omnia Vincit Amor
Waaaaaaalllll
The Queen and Family.
 March of the elephants on the National Day. |
 Minister of Madness on her way to battle the Swedes. |
THE ROYAL LADONIAN ARMY IS AGAINST WAR ON IRAQ
Although I am a soldier and chief (under the crown) of an Army (our nation's one), and although I can perfectly understand certain kinds of war, I, and all the Army and the Ladonian Conservative Party, we are against this war, because of the coward way in which it was started (do not forget that Iraqi people was tried to be disarmed before this sure attack), because it is said that this is a preventive war, a stupid concept, because wars are told to be invasions or defences, not preventions; because of the pacific and non invader character of our Army (under permission of the Cabinet)...As I said, I, as Chief and General of our Army, declare myself against, because no cause justifies any death. We soldiers are to march, to make our medals shine in Honour of our country, and to let our country be invaded ONLY by ocean waves. If our country has to disappear, then be because constant kisses of our beloved sea. That which destroy us, can also destroy our enemies, but we will always be toward peace in our country.
LONG LIVE LADONIA
Full Madness and Insomnia. The Ministry of Madness will be closed.
The Ladonian Consulate in Fort Lauderdale Florida (US) will also be closed on June 21.
We are planning a festival of kite flying in Clearwater Beach Florida, to escape the madness.
Baron Lee Von Braunstein (aka) Lee Bacall
Minister of Postal Services, Ladonia
Kite flying is, in fact, an expression of genuine madness. As some of you may recall the Minister of Madness flew a green kite in Nimis last summer (as documented in Ladonia Herald 55, Sept. 2002), followed by accusations of a conspiracy to overthrow the Queen. [What Queen? There are no other queens than those who appear on balconies (once a year or so) to receive the homage of the people.]
The Day of Full Madness will nevertheless be celebrated in Oslo on Saturday in a noticeable arrangement from which I hope to present a report as soon as I have recovered.
Widow Countess
Wenche von Blomberg und Grünerløkka
Minister of Madness
Salts in the sea
colloids in the soil
beautiful compounds
foreordained
yonder in the depths
for use by the sun
our creativity master
who already had made
the earth,
in different layers on layers
(the innermost quite hot)
to bring about,
friction and oppurtunity,
and the crown of the universe,
in those days,
solid crystallized rock,
that could endure the flux
of time, all this
happened before
the glorious advent
of salts in the sea,
and colloids on the sands,
which turned them to soil
and enabled the next gesture
with the magician's wand,
the very earliest appearance of life,
quite miraculously
right out of the magician's hat.
Billions of years later,
Dr Emanuel von Bock,
your Minister of Health,
is writing these lines, to ask Ye,
All Peoples in the World,
Doeth Ye Imagine What Purpose
There Was in the Creation of Ye All,
for What Ye are to Serve in the Great Universe??
Or thinkest ye, it's All your personal pleasure?
Me thinks you might have a chance for a Great Awakening!
If you go on following what comes in this column from time to time,
I might provide Ye with some hints. (But, actually, that process has been
ongoing since the column started - that's the sole purpose with this Entire
Herald, where people can discuss whatever they happen to please, and once in
a while, there will be a gem of wisdom to be taken home from "At The End of
the Day".
Yours sincerely, Doktor Emanuel von Bock
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Vera Porad Falk, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia
Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden
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Created: 2003-06-23