In december 2002, in what can easiest be described as a morning attack of exceptional measures, was carried out - the unwarrantable insolent theft of Omfalos by swedish authorities. The theft of Omfalos, a National treasure for over 11 000 citizens in Ladonia, was one of the fundamental reasons to that Ladonia at last was forced to declare war on Sweden in July 2003.

Omfalos at Moderna Museet.

The swedish authorities went ahead with their stealing with the aid of a hired private vessel. This private vessels doing is to be judged as an act of piracy and swedens infamous deed is State terrorism. With the aid of a huge hydraulic crane the art piece and its reinforced concrete foundation was jerked from its location. Hereby Omfalos was seriously damaged and an important part of the Ladonian identity creation was ripped up with its roots.

The fact that the Ladonian national symbol of Omfalos iniquitously has been misappropriated and taken away of foreign state is shocking. The name of the sculpture wasn’t chosen haphazardly. Omfalos marked the Center of the World were it rested in silent majesty on the soft rounded rocks and boulders of Ladonia. The navel of the World was represented on cliff and rock along a shore which has been formed during millennia, and which quiet tranquility was crushed by swedish authorities in an attack in Hollywood-style. Damages brought upon Omfalos, Ladonian National Art, are not yet disentangled or brought in order in swedish court. Ladonia claims damages. There is no escaping for any Ladonian citizen to experience outrage and disgust before, or be left indifferent to this atrocity. The war, which the theft of this highly priced national piece originates from, continues and is not weakened. The fact that the Ladonian national sculpture Omfalos with it’s national, international and juridical background now is placed on Moderna Museet in the swedish capitol Stockholm is absolutely absurd.

Vilks entertaining the audience.

Vilks with proprietor of page of Arx.

Ladonia has officially declared war on San Marino. As of March 6 the Ladonian forces attacked mainly by elephant and boat. A new war method was also presented: the Ladonian Suicide Bomber. The Ladonian suicide bomber jump out of regular air traffic planes and thereby bombing the target with his/hers own person. It’s all about falling on a strategic (and/or expensive) target! (*jump* wooooooooooooosh, BAM!)

Ladonia launched its War-elephants from the north, coming over the Alps - and came over the waters by a huge fleet, an armada of ships, which attacked from southeast. Due to usually well-informed sources the War is going great and according to plans. The San Marino ’s will soon be defeated. The war is a success.

War elephant. Photo James Hartman.

The incorporation of San Marino is based on old claims, since Ladonians once founded San Marino. As a celebration of the war we bid interested visitors at the press-center to try the new product "Peregrin Falcon Sausage". It was very much appreciated and admired by all everyone. Peregrin Falcon is, as everybody knows, the national dish of Ladonia. There was also ample opportunity to get acquainted with Ladonia, State secretary put up a Ladonian Jukebox for the people to play the National Anthem.

Serving peregrin falcon sausage.

The Presidential Election took place at the 17:th of April and already the preliminary results showed that our former Vice president Countess Kicki was the winner with approximately 20 % more votes than the runner up, our new Vice President Daniel Jimenez. ÿP!’s & congratulations was plentiful! It was a fine day in Simrishamn where the votes was counted with three Ministers and State Secretary present - we even had swedish celeb on visit, the former Party leader Gudrun Schyman (Left Party former Communists) who was very interested in the Election. She applauded the female President.

Vilks, Schibli and Larsson counting votes.

Concerning the election: the total numbers of votes were 90, well spread among all candidates. The low voting made our former President Fernando Rodrigues from Brazil indignant and his first comment was: “That is really disappointing... The new president lacks legitimacy. What we have here? A crises?”

We were very glad to hear a few words from our legendary president Fernando, the cliff of Ladonia since 1997. May his time be remembered! Ladonia sends many thanks to the legend, and we hope the ex-president will remain in the cabinet and that Mr Rodrigues will appear often now as ex-president. If the cabinet so rules the "ex" should remain as an honorary and experienced force in the cabinet.

State Secretary and Gudrun Schyman.

The result is final and the low voting was a great advantage while counting the votes. Had we more votes it would have taken longer time and it would have been strenuous for all counters. However, the voting was very exciting to the last minute and the official result of the election is:

 1. Countess Kicki von Hankell, 20 votes

2. Daniel Jiménez from Madrid has, 15 votes

3. Phil the Rock, 13 votes

This means that Countess Kicki will be our new president and Daniel Jiménez will be our vice president. Kicki is not the first female president in the world - there is and has been a few. But Ladonia is now very feministicly correct. Ruled as we are by a Queen and a female President.

President Kicki, guarded by angels at the top.

Our new President first comment was:

“THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

I AND MY GUARDIAN ANGELS WILL DO OUR VERY BEST FOR THE BELOVED COUNTRY LADONIA”

ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿ P! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP! ÿP!

PRESIDENT OF LADONIA

Countess Kicki von Hankell

Ministress of the Dep. of The Guardian Angels, etc

The President also lets us know that she is prepared for the chilliness that sometimes can be experienced at the top. Read more about female leaders and presidents in the news background further down.

Stolen Payolas in the hands of Minister of Art & Jump.

Larsson’s commando raid was carried out toward one of the other participating micro nation at the conference, Transnational Republic. Already at the preliminary roundtable sessions the conflict between Ladonia and Transnational Republic appeared significant. The delegation from Transnational Republic was more than little annoyed over being referred to as an “art project”. On the other hand, the Ladonian delegation could not take the mission of Transnational Republics as serious, when it consisted of saving the world by “peacefully” taking control over it. The method to convince people around the world to exchange their money into Transnational Republics own currency “payola”, and then give it back in the future “when the world is ready for the responsibility”. It is a utopian path that leads to the dictatorship of benevolence. This Marxist thought is a political idea we already know from the last century and its modernistic ideologies. But Fredrik Larsson was not satisfied with just discussing - he went to action. He describes his action as follows:

 “During the last day of the conference I did a reconnoitering tour on Harraka Island. When I reached the pavilion of Transnational Republic I noted that it was almost abounded. Only one delegate was present and he was busy to issue a passport to one of the voluntaries under the conference. While they were busy I took the opportunity to look around the ”embassy”. Quickly, I established that it was rather meaningless and boring, apart from one exhibition case that captured my interest. Before me was their “prestigious” currency, Payolas in bills and coins in an open display case. I thought, “This is an excellent war trophy”. I looked around, nobody in sight; all I could hear was the slowly hitting typewriter sound. I was alone with their money. The thing that struck me was that it seemed that not even Transnational Republic themselves valued their own currency. I went into action. I shot some pictures from the exhibition case, and took a bill and a coin. I returned to base, the Ladonia legation.”

The Gossip department of The Herald gives us the latest picture of the Royal family to admire and cherish. Their obvious charm and solemn nobility is radiating from the image, as we all can see.

Royal picture.

A word from our Minister of Health

Deftly disguised, riding on camels, the Ladonian Ministry of Health has crossed territories of greatest danger, to visit the popular esoteric community Shangri Laa hidden beyond the Ancient River Oxus somewhere in Retro Hindu Kush. Finally arrived, after hardships unrecountable, all our winter bellies from the season 2002-2003 nicely abated, we seemed to be warmly welcomed, but in order to pass the border control, one of us needed to present an original piece of music for their archives. We tried this and we tried that with little apparent success, even the our fine conceptual art nature Ladonian anthem throwing a stone in the sea (no sea around, we tried a mountain wall) failed to meet approval, so no way, on August 18, 2003 the Minister was arrested, his band of co-travellers placed in old military tents next to the border prison, nick-named the ‘Ivory Tower’, we subsequently learnt, nobody free to walk any step further until a new piece of music e xisted: This is how String Quartet No. 1 by Doctor Emanuel von Bock presented itself to the world. And ‘presented’ is the key word – it presented itself, and the medium, the instrument of this greater than human will, Doctor Bock in this case, busy writing the notes, was led from one vision into next – and thus many moths later, when Ladonians celebrate the yet lingering spring with small peregrine falcon breakfast eggs during their Deepest Winter Feast, when also many other things occur and among them our Old King Ladon, the Wise & Bearded rises from his grave and makes a number of young virgins pregnant like in the good old days when the world was pristine without degenerate religions and the fairest maidens of all lived in Ladonia, and some in Denmark and Livonia as well, while Russia did not yet exist and the Germans had not yet invented their famous stepwise Complicated Plans which always keep failing and thus finally earned them the honorary title ‘Emperors of the World of Clouds’ somewhere around 1910 in Monde Ancien days, when the French wanted to rule the Lands and the British the Seas, including India. Well, they are all together now in building the New Millennium Western Civilisation Soviet Union to be ruled only by multinational companies, where a little upstart will have an extremely slim chance ever to compete for a business order, and all the workers will be extensively curtailed by all sorts of bureaucracy so they have no chance to work too much or earn too much and thus ever to challenge the Privileged Big. Our only human chance is that the Big need to preserve some symbolic and almost illusory shadow of pseudo-democracy (but still!) in order to keep us lulled in sleep, which provides our only freedom to act – and this is the deepest reason why the peoples of the West are very cross with their brothers the Islamists, who are hitting at us with all their bombs, instead of hitting at the Big, thus helping the Big to cont rol us even more: Probably the poor, and I presume, misunderstood Islamists didn’t analyse the world situation deeply enough. Well, never mind, I just lost my thread, disguised we arrived at the border of Shangriii Laaa, and a String Quartet No. One came into Existence (i.e. the Universe – from Non-existence). It presented itself from some superior mind – it was very strangely obvious – like I was still checking whether I had enough sheet music paper, when suddenly, “it” said in my mind – “this is my final statement – here the work is over – sure you like it!?” – “and – thank you for your time and attention”.

Next a group of musicians arrived from the valley beneath and performed the quartet. Tears came in my eyes. They played so well, and so heavenly a piece of music I have never heard before, it was simply Divine. The first movement began with a D major Allegro theme that had arrived in my mind already when 17 years old and dreaming of a guitar sonata, which never materialised. This youthful theme was varied in many ways and then happened into chaos – the epitome of the 20th century at the developing edge of the world, I thought (all that delayed tabula rasa thing with the former One Man Hero Epoch that suddenly ended somewhere in the years around 1848, to be succeeded by the New Epoch of Synergism & Coming to First Grips with Complexity) – and then out of deepest chaos – the harmonic formula of the simple youthful theme was reborn, in a molto meno mosso fashion that made the musicians relax their facial muscles into something quit e jointly about them that seemed utterly loving and serene. The second movement was created around a pseudo gregorian Andante con moto theme in g sharp minor that came to me in 1995 while loosing an important love, onto which slipped a motif of great despair, from a hike incident with a big falling boulder that might seriously have injured my oldest daughter, the enormous scene with falling rubble, the dust, and then my deepest felt gratitude to the unknown when she woke up and I realised she would make it without sequaele, a theme like air filling your chest in C sharp major, which returns in both subsequent movents, in the last part of the third, which starts in an E major theme from the very time I bought my guitar 16 years old, and is the play of waves and ripples in a summer morning sea, to be followed by swimming very far out to what in Ladonia is known as ‘the fifth table’ and in A flat major, so turning around far out the playful theme returns, w hereafter the play rises to storm and roaring high brakers accompanied by base tremolos of murmuring rolling stones and pebbles, then evening scene, and the last movement in A flat major, an Adagio four part pseudo renaissance a capella song how the stars appear in an indigo blue sky one by one, and how they grow in numbers as the sky darkens, into an allegro vivace fuge, milling in uncountable numbers, and motifs so utterly other of strange beauty appear and among them the C sharp major theme of recognised grace and salvation, and so the very strange ending of violently milling stars against a background of Milky Way dust where G flat plays a major role in swirling star dust minor seconds as establishing the A flat summary of the whole enterprise and a Door to the Silence beyond us:

And the musicians rose to their feet, bowed, the border police applauded, our passports were stamped, our currency was recognised, and we were allowed to enter.

And finally, as always, Greetings to All Peoples in the Entire World,

from Doctor Emanuel von Bock,

Minister of Health in Ladonia.

The Minsiter of Health wishes you all a very healthy and prosperous winter. Always go with the light.

Emanuel von Bock, Minister of Health.

CONTACT INFORMATION

You can send us e-mail or use the address below.

Vera Porad Falk, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden

© Copyright 1996 - 2004 Lars Vilks, Vera Porad Falk and Arrive Inter Media
Created: 2004-05-20