State Secretary Lars Vilks had a hammer hidden under a stone in Ladonia. But one day the hammer was gone. This was not the end of the story; a couple of weeks later a letter arrived from the hammer, the hammer saying that it were on vacation. As a proof of this photos could show the hamme's trip from Ladonia to England and Ireland. See for yourself:

The hamme's trip, photo of unknown helper.

The Minister of Art & Jump Fredrik Larsson-Axvik has sculptured the Swedish Town Esloev with light. And out of darkness and shadows rises Esloev...

Minister of Mythological Beast, Lisa, has sent us these words from a conversation she had with a person of deep religiosity:

She: If you were thirsty and I brought you a glass of water but it had one dot of dirt in it, would you drink it?
Me: How thirsty am I?
She: Well, you're really thirsty but now it has two dots of dirt in it.
Me: Hmm. If I'm really thirsty, I'll drink it but not to the bottom of the glass.
She: But it's dirt!! How could you drink it if....
Me: If I'm that thirsty that I could die, I'd take the chance.
She: Well, but, you, I, you're wrong but Jes-

Now, first the background.

History of Ladonia Stone Race 
The Ladonia Stone Race, as we know it today, bears little or no resemblance with its ancient forerunner. In fact it was neither a game nor a competition in those long gone days that disappear in the mists of time. Only Ladon knows how old this tradition is or how far back it dates. But well preserved rolls tells about The Three Wise of Ladon who every 100 year met on the shores of Ladonia and held meetings, that where both court, and sacred meditation-like gatherings. Our old stories tell about The Three Wise that came together to sit. They sat on the stones and boulders of our ancient Ladonian shore and watched civilizations be born, grow old and crumble into dust. 

They held the torch of knowledge and didn't grow old as the rest of the humans around them. It's said that they where "the Eternals" (a honorary title still given to Ladonian Ministers of today). They never ate during their "court-meetings" (to use a notion we can understand, but that holds little or no resemblance with what The Wise actually where doing).

Their meetings could go on for up to five years at the time and they were not asleep and not awake. The Wise where at these meetings like in a suspended animation, something that looked like trance or meditation. They where the guardians of time and space and had a key role in transition from winter to summer and other phenomenon we can only start to wonder about. Some say that they where the ones that saw to it that civilizations was born, other says they where the force that conceived the world and reality as we know it today (not that we know much, but the more we learn the more evident it is that we know so very little).

Some ancient stories says that the Eternals where the key to Intelligence, Imagination and Creativity. We can only hope to understand what role they played in the eons that has passed. But today we honor their memory with the Ladonian Stone Race that springs from their sitting on the stones. This racing might help us get closer to the elements; help us gain an understanding for the nature of things. And maybe even bring us closer to our minds, our human nature and ourselves. The race let us contact our inner self and help us rest our restless minds bent on activities. Ladonia Stone Race is probably the only race in the world that truly does anything to people.

Ministry of Art & Jump
Wotan City, Ladonia

We recommend every Ladonian to become a part of the new Ladonian religion: THE STONE RACE BELIEF. You simply believe in the stone race. I know it is not easy, but in these matters things do not come easy. Eternal Minister of Dubious Anthems and Chili, Walter:

The Stone has much to recommend it:  principally, it actually exists, thus removing the silly mythological demands of most other religions; secondly, the Stone has appeared in many of our best song titles.  Stones are not evangelical, and are impressively immune to herd behavior (they can't be blamed for occasional geologic burping and grumbling of the earth they sit on).  It is never the Stone that hurls itself in anger.  As long as Ladonian Stone Contemplation has as it's one immutable tenet that citizens and visitors can NEVER hurl a stone at another, then I'm in (even though an atheist).

Minister Taru has this view on the new religion.

There has been much talk about state religion and whether we should have it or not. Yet, I would be surprised if there would be anyone among us not really believing in stone races. Modern science says that stones do race, but the reason we do not see this happening is that we can't have any comparison point to that movement. That is, something seems to move when it moves in relation to some other object we observe (say, a car just passed a house on the opposite side of the street and so I saw car moving). About earth moving, we have no such comparison point, because everything else moves at the same pace. Of course, we can observe this movement indirectly (wind blows, the Sun rises, stars move in the sky), but we can't see stones and rocks moving as such. Still, we know (or rather believe in) that the earth moves both in relation to itself and to the Sun. We all have studied this at school. We believe it, but we can't see it. So who among us does not believe in stone races in this sense?

Minister Taru has also an interesting alternative if you are not able to find the right faith in the stone race:

I write to you all to announce that I have founded a new religion and a new church for it to Ladonia (thanks to our religious freedom). It is Yesterday Church. You see, just the other day I had radio on and there was a song by the Beatles declaring that "I believe in yesterday". Suddenly I found myself to be a believer too: not only Paul McCarthy but also I believe in the existence of yesterday.

It appears that belief in yesterday can be an atheist cult, but for theists, it seems that this is a cult with she-god, whose return believers all waiting for: "Why she had to go, I don't know, she didn't say." There is a conception of sin too, because the reason for the she-god to leave seems to be "I said something wrong" and the way to absolve one is through self-negation: "Now I need a place to hide away."

You could celebrate the Religion of the Stone Race by dancing among the stones of Ale on the south coast of Sweden. State Secretary Lars Vilks is performing:

State Secretary dancing the Stone Race Dance. Photo James Hartman

The Minister of Art & Jump comes up with interesting information in the martial arts:

The Hungarian Nose grip is a feared fighting technique! It was introduced by myself long time ago, I think it was in 1980... when Nimis started... The Hungarian Nose grip is a wrestling technique, that makes American wrestling a fare game. The grip starts by pushing two fingers forcefully up your opponents nose and making sure it sits tight (almost like bowling). Then come the swing, where you swing the sad victim over your shoulder with a dashing speed, sending him/her to the floor back first. WHAMMY! Not many people (s noses) are left unaffected by the Hungarian Nose grip.

Minister Vassilios found the Ladonia Sword for the Knights

Nobles need their sword and the Ladonian Nobilities Sword was found in Greece:

It is an ancient Sword gifted with special powers found in River Ladon. The Minister himself claims that it was sent by the river elves in order to protect the Area.

The Minister of the River Ladon in Arcadia
Sir Vassilios Roumeliotis,
Knight of Acradia

Oh yes Cairo is still there. And, in so far as it does smell, (not much) I love the aromas of Cairo. I love the dust and the traffic (I don't have to drive in it but am driven) and the insha'allah of it all. Temperamentally a Minister of Procrastination has to love Egypt. There is a saying in Arabic apparently: People are afraid of time, and time is afraid of the pyramids - but the people show no sign of being afraid of time: there seems to be a wonderful ... I don't know, forgiveness towards time, in the air. Gentleness. Even the fabled traffic - a chaotic mix of trucks, buses, people, cars and donkey carts - is polite and flexible. Of course I am with tourists so it is not the same as living there. It was good to catch up with a couple of Egyptian colleagues though and try to puzzle out the different minds. The pharaohs are still missing as far as I can tell. I did see the mummy of Ramses II (among others) and was impressed by his short greying hair and authoritative face - even after being dead for so long. Of course one falls in love with him - the young beautiful images of him all over the place - with his Mona Lisa smile. One day I will go and sit in the Cairo Museum for a whole day and look at only one room. I don't care which. I went to the famous Aboudi's bookshop in Luxor and bought a book of Arabic short stories (translated into English) which I am enjoying.

It was very hot. The Valley of the Kings nearly did me in. And crowds of people. There is little time to reflect.

Everyone smokes cigarettes everywhere. I smoked an apple tobacco shishka with friends and drank Turkish coffee (which is impossible to come by in my small town back home). The last night was cool and balmy and they were setting out for Jordan the next day. I envied them because I enjoyed Jordan last February, but I have work to do at home and could not extend the trip.

All the best
S.P.A.Trollbinda
Minister of Procrastination
& Poet Launderette

www.chris.mansell.name

Egyptian pyramid, photo Chris Mansell

In the Ladonia Cabinet you will find the queen, the president, the vice president and many ministers. A few of the ministers are eternal. That means they will never cease being ministers in Ladonia. It is possible for a minister to receive the position as eternal through a voting in the cabinet. The eternal ministers in Ladonia are:

All of the eternal ministers will be memorized with stone circles in Ladonia. The circles will be built next year.

Who won the American election? Kerry, no, Bush, did he? The winner was actually the candidate presented by Ladonia, Phil the rock, a solid candidate and now president of the USA. Here is a statement made by Phil:

Hy. I em Phil th rocck end I are run 4 yur leaaadership. Maaaany pippplez thenges yuu haves  alll sediment flu -flood. no! yu alll are heavy  wiff alll  all wourdsz you tolds uszz. Ttyme too hopes noww. yes. times to have hope . Nowh iz tim to bee ussss hawl. Each, each off ussz. Sowrry, but I no tip, typwe rite. WWee kno thaaet outzydee  hawrd,, We better wen wee try Laaadoniah  !
I am Phhiil th ruck, rock aand I appppprooove thiss mehsahgue.

Minister of Dreams Jona, has an interesting page where she is showing some of her works, among other things films. It is very fascinating and strange stuff so it is worth going there:

www.jonapelovska.com

We could have the Order of Ladonia ...only because it would make a  good abbreviation: the OOL. This sounds so Ladonian I'm wondering if it isn't an ancient Ladonian word of which I have a 'race memory'?

All the best
S.P.A.Trollbinda
Minister of Procrastination
& Poet Launderette

This idea and question from Minister of Procrastination is interesting. The order of Ladonia the OOL is very old but it is not an ancient Ladonian word. Every Ladonian speaks very few Ladonian words because there are only two, the "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll" and the "ÿp".

How about viking horns that light up at night? (Minister Walter)

This is an idea which I don't think have been tried. A modern Viking should have lighted horns. There are not many Vikings in Ladonia but at night time you could then easily find them.

To protect Ladonia the Cabinet has agreed on The Green Law. It has been made in the form of lyrics by S.P.A.Trollbinda Eternal Minister of Procrastination & Poet Launderette

Possible pollution in Ladonia, picture by James Hartman

The Green Law Song Lyrics

Verse 1
Ladonia for all through the thick and the thin
(mainly thick)  and we'll keep our hand in
from Nimis to Omphalos from kneecap to chin
no one can oppress us or keep us in sin

CHORUS:
Because
the stones are still moving
and we have the Green Law

Verse 2
Ladonia the hopeful with elephants green
Ladonian homeland: the best ever been seen
Arting and Jumping and shockingly keen
with a queen so glorious who never shows spleen

CHORUS:
Because
the stones are still moving
and we have the Green Law

Verse 3 (building to crescendo of verse 4)
When elsewhere, we pine
look for socks on the line
eat hot when we dine
And on rocks do recline

Verse 4 (with part of descent show offs??)
Oh! Oh! Ladonia
we outlaw pneumonia
because
the stones are still moving
and we have the Green Law

RPT verse 1

Per Cod, Minister of Yellow Snow and also a poet has written lyrics inspired by Scandinavian history and myth.

HOLMGANG

Who is more splendid?
He who brings the ravens harvest
or he who nurtures Hugin and Mugin

Ravens feeder seek his flame-farewell
serving the Breaker of Rings
with his blood worm and his
slaughter dew ember

Keeper of Hugin and Munin
serve the Rune Carved Tongue
that Bragarfull be drunk,
and kin and Kings be munin'd

these two they are both splendid
and both shall greet the Hooded
and at his side in Ragnarok, they both shall ride
but none shall be so close to Gangleri
as shall be he who is these both

For Ladonia
For Ladon glory of elves shine on
Breaker of trees sends Ægir's daughters East
Foul Svea and her Olicrosse go Wester-way
For Ladon glory of elves shine on
like Miklagard, caught between
Awakened by Gullinkambi we,
who's fate is guard the Brages holy cup,
seek Brunnehilde's favour
by bloody serpent's dance
Unpeace is price we pay
And loss of kin and friend
When just and holy war we wage
For Ladon, that glory of elves shine on
Feud ratchet skrallings of Vinland!
Feud Sveas! bearded carriers of milk
Feud Roman Mountain Jarl!
Feud on!
Slay all enemies of Heim!
Heim that glory of elves shine on

A controversial subject in Ladonia is the saving plan for buying a small and cheap nuclear weapon. We have advanced so far as launching the first sample. This is necessary to come into equal terms with Sweden.

Launching the first nuke in Ladonia, picture James Hartman

500 000 000 000 Oertug, 1 Oertug is $ 1

500 000 000 000 Oertug, 1 Oertug is $ 1

The design of the new banknote is made by Minister James Hartman. The pictures are showing Her Majesty the Queen Ywonne I and the Royal Family.

CONTACT INFORMATION

You can send us e-mail or use the address below.

Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden

© Copyright 1996 - 2004 Lars Vilks and Aim.
Created: 2004-12-23